by Michael Andoscia

Created on: May 23, 2008

Ah, why do people have affairs, cheat, sneak around? Why can't we just stay faithful? Could it be that we are just genetically wired to cheat? Perhaps the evolutionary psychologists are right that it is in the best interest of males to inseminate as many young women as we can and it is in the best interest of women to get impregnated by an aggressive and assertive male specimen then seduce a passive male into raising offspring that is not his.

Of course, this is balderdash. The trouble with trying to explain why human beings, males and females are so unfaithful to each other is that one must make the assumption that this paradigm is true. However, there's plenty of information out there that suggests that it is, in fact, not true. We don't have affairs quite as often as they do on the morning soaps. Research shows that almost 80% of men remain faithful to their wives and almost 90% of women remain faithful to their husbands. I've seen no research with regard to remaining faithful to boyfriends or girlfriends. But adultery is usually defined as a betrayal within a marriage.

Of course, biologically, there's no difference between inseminated or becoming impregnated when single and expressing fertility when married. Marriage is a cultural development. The rules, therefore, are cultural. So trying to find a biological explanation for a cultural phenomenon is problematic. It's especially problematic when you are starting with a false premise, that we are a species of cheaters.

Maybe we are. Maybe, deep down, when we leave home for work and come across a sexually appealing specimen of humanity, we can't help but think, 'God, I sure would like to...um...use this beautiful specimen as a medium for perpetuating my genetic inheritance.' Or maybe we are thinking, 'God, I sure would like to have sex with him.' or 'God, I wonder if I could get her to bed.' Some romantics might suggest that we are cheating in mind, and that's just as good/bad as cheating in body. Well, it isn't. And for the most part, most of us do not commit adultery.

But if we do, why do we? There are surveys out there that suggest that we cheat because we are dissatisfied with our sex lives. Or women cheat for emotional reasons and men cheat for physical reasons (which is dubious as most men report that they have a difficult time having sex without emotionalism). Most of these surveys just tend to confirm our assumptions about men and women. In most cases these assumptions are false. Men are pigs (victimizers)

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