by missbee

Created on: May 23, 2008   Last Updated: June 19, 2009

I am the other woman and this is my story.....

I met him two years ago while I was out dancing with some friends. Ironically I didn't like him at first but after seeing him a couple of times he slowly won me over. About a month after we started our relationship I questioned him about something and he confessed to me that he was married. He said he didn't tell me sooner because he felt so good with me and didn't want me to leave him. He told me about his life and why he is still in the marriage and after much thought I decided to stay. We were together all the time and talked everyday, almost like a normal couple. Everything felt so right, we couldn't help but to fall in love. He took care of me and helped me in every way possible, my knight in shining armor.

Now here I am two years later still in this same situation. He has tried unsuccessfully to leave his wife several times. The last thing either of us want is for anybody to think that he is leaving because of some one else (me). Right after he decided to leave the last time things happened to where there were strong suspicions that he had somebody else so he stayed to avoid problems. Since then things have been very rough. He does try and I can tell that he is trying extra hard to keep me happy because I think he senses that I am ready to give up.

Honestly, I do understand his situation but I am not happy anymore. I wonder at times why I even put myself in this position. I have spoke to him about how I feel and I can tell that he is scared I will leave and that it hurts him. He calls and tries to do extra special things when he can but the truth is I am tired. I am tired of the whole thing. Part of me wants to stay but part of me says I should leave. I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to be feeling this way all the time either. My heart is being pulled in a million directions. As I write this my mind races thinking of what will happen next. Who knows?

So, yes, this is my life as a mistress. Although he says I am not his mistress, he says I am his girlfriend, a mistress is what I am. Not the glamor and fun that some people believe it to be. It is a life filled with conflicting emotions. Love, guilt, sadness, joy, hopefulness all racing around at the same time. For now here I sit thinking and trying to make a decision on what to do. I never thought it would be easy but I never imagined it to be so hard.

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