by Elizabeth Wordsmith

Created on: May 23, 2008

Play yards and playpens are too confining. They represent the first compromise parents make to good parenting. After the playpen, we move on to using the television and video games as "babysitters" for our children.

Why do we need to confine our children? It's certainly not for their benefit. We use them for our convenience so that we can get our chores done or have a conversation on the phone. The problem with the playpen and play yard is that we often over use them. They give us a false sense of security. And they limit our interactions with our children and our children's interactions with their environment.

Whoever is in attendance of a young child should be fully engaged in the child's activities. There is no task more important. No matter what a child is doing, the caregiver should be constantly vigilant. It only takes a second for disaster to strike. The playpen gives the parent a sense that he or she can leave the child alone in a safe environment while she takes care of other matters. But it only takes a moment for a child to ingest something and choke or to fall and hurt themselves. This can happen just as easily in a playpen or within a play yard as when playing on the floor within the parent's view.

The child wants two things: to have the parent's full attention and to explore their world. They get neither of these things in a play pen. When my children were little, they hated the playpen. They would pull themselves up at the side and cry until I took them out. So, I found other uses for their pen. It became useful for clutter control or housing some object such as a Christmas tree which I didn't want them to have access to. It's a great place to put folded laundry until you have the time to put it away. It's a great place for toys. And it's a great place for wrapped Christmas presents or birthday presents you don't want your little ones opening until the big day. I would also use it somewhat when we traveled in case the new environment wasn't baby-proofed.

Becoming a parent requires many compromises. However, the benefits outweigh the things we give up. I found out very early that I would have to give up my control of the decorating and storage to the needs of my children. You have to pick your battles because there will be many. The easiest thing to do is to allow your child to teach you how to be a good parent. My children taught me that their primary need was for me to give my full attention to them. They didn't care if the house was neat and

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