by Nicholas Stitt

Created on: May 22, 2008

Ahh, freedom of speech. The rights bound within our first amendment; every American citizen is given equal freedom to say pretty much anything they want, anywhere, and to anyone without legal consequence. Social consequences are a little differentyour public comparison of Respected Individual A to Pile of Animal Waste Product B may not make you new friends, but at least you can't go to jail. Even if Respected Individual's team of lawyers slap up your wrists, the damage is already done and your freedom of speech made you the victor.

We know freedom of speech is a double edged sword. Everyone has some way to communicate their likes and dislikes, their adorations and scourging distastes with whomever or whatever they want. And uh-oh; here comes the internet. Now anyone's voice can be instantly published, accessible to a billion listeners around the world.

So a billion voices can respond back, telling you how Respected Individual A is not at all comparable to Product B, but is really great and wonderful and does all this stuff that you're just too stupid to see or fully understand

And on, and on, and on.

The circle of feedback; speakers says one thing, listener responds it never closes. As our founding fathers crafted the constitution, could they begin to grasp the power of unlimited freedom? I'm sure they had an idea, but the coils of slandering goop have truly buried us all. In the most literal sense, everyone's a critic.

I love comedy. I love reading or watching satire, both clean and dirty, and adore Comedy Central's South Park. The long running show features four foul-mouthed elementary school kids and their antics with the townsfolk. Nearly every episode carries a hidden political messagethen openly mocks the persons devoting their lives to said political cause. Voting is important; since democracy is clearly the backbone of our perfect American society, make sure to VOTE at any cost, even if the candidates themselves are worthless.

"But dad"

"VOTE, SON. YOU MUST!"

That's just one example. South Park's writers have touched a thousand contemporary issues, and I laugh at every one of them.

And one day, I scoffed at the episode that deeply offended me.

What nerve they had. I've been a fan of the show for so many years, and they write an episode offending moi? That's just awful! I'm going to write them a stern letter, then cancel my cable subscription. Sick freaks!

By the time I'd left the couch, I understood.

We know freedom of speechthe right to offend and be offendedis not limited to comedians. Everyone must be allowed to make fun of everyone, no matter the subject or speaker. The absolute alternativeno one allowed to make fun of anythingis a regressive, downright barbaric shift. So say it, spray it, offend the world. To those who get upset; sit on it. After you're done sitting, tell us why we've offended you, why we're wrong, and how quickly we can get to hell.

It's the American way, baby.

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