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know how they feel. Parents are urged to hold and comfort them as much as possible as well. They should also not make negative comments about their mate in front of the children, making sure that they do not turn them into messengers or spies. It is better for a parent to minimize the changes in the family's life until they are able to adjust. Also, a parent should be dependable and be there when their children need them the most. Parents are urged not to try to buy their children's affection as well. If a parent has custody, they should not deprive other relatives the right of visitation. In this case as well, a parent should move either close to or with relatives if the spouse moves far away; the children need role models. Finally, a parent is urged to continue his or her obligation to their children. Using these ideas, parents can cope with the situation, making divorce an easier thing for everyone to deal with.

Barbara Bearson, Co-Author of Survival Guide for the Suddenly Single , suggests something like this should be said to the child to explain the divorce: "Daddy and I didn't get along. We stopped liking each other and fought a lot. If a husband and wife stop loving and liking each other and make themselves unhappy, it is better for them to live separately".

Today, divorce is becoming more and more a part of people's lives. Recent studies show the findings of effects on both adults and children. James Anthony, President of the American Academy of Child Psychology stated, "The divorce rate is a problem, reconstituted families are a problem, and growing up, in every decade, is becoming more complicated business."

Andrew, John, Divorce and the American Family, New York and London, Frank Watts, 1978.

List, Julie Autmn, The Day the Loving Stopped: A daughter's view of her parent's divorce, New York, Julie Autmn List, 1980.

"Children of Divorce: growing up vowing the same thing won't happen to me", New York Times, April 13, 1982.

Taylor, John C., "Children of Divorce", The Plain Truth, pg's 18-21, January, 1984

Goldberg, Bernard, "All Dads Aren't Deadbeats", Newsweek, pg's 10-11, February 6, 1984.

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