by Leslie Coleman

Created on: May 22, 2008   Last Updated: May 28, 2008

The Family Jewels

It was a sunny afternoon and I had just completed the housekeeping chores. I needed to wash the car and then I would be done. I pulled the family SUV into the backyard to keep an eye on my 4 year old daughter & friends while they played, but soon neighborhood children were coming from everywhere wanting to "help."

We were quite the spectacle soaping up the car. The children were covered in soap and squealing with delight as they turned the hose on one another. In the midst of it all, the telephone rang.

The caller was my gabby sister-in-law, Paula. I listened to her endless chatter staring out the kitchen window to watch the children wash the car. I remember thinking that one little boy must be on some serious Ritalin, working devotedly on the right front tire.

Ending the phone call was difficult so I gave in to Paula's need to report our mother-in-law's latest plan to distribute the family jewels. My curiosity piqued, I poured myself a glass of wine and took a seat on the kitchen stool. (His mother had promised ME the emerald dinner ring and Paula was making it sound as if it was up for grabs.)

One of the boys ran into the kitchen shouting, "Miss Leslie, we are washing your car REAL good!" My daughter stood a few steps behind him, her head nodding in an affirmative way. "That's nice, Jason." I answered. "Let Miss Leslie finish her phone conversation and I'll be out to see your good job in a minute."

As I watched the children return to their car wash project, I told Paula, "You know, all of the other mothers are probably napping while their children are "helping me" wash my car, and now you're telling me I may not get the emerald dinner ring, so I think I just may finish this bottle of wine.." to which Paula replied, "Let me join you, so we can work this out."
It would only take Paula a few minutes to arrive. I took a quick look around at my sparkling kitchen and tidy home; then glanced in the mirror (ugh!). I ran upstairs, washed my face, changed my blouse and pulled on a "dry" pair of jeans. I was running downstairs while smearing on some lipstick when I heard Paula's voice. "Leslie? You better come outside, pumpkin!" (It was never good when Paula called me "pumpkin.")

There stood my daughter, garden hose in hand, a perfect arc of water pouring into the rear compartment of the SUV. Two little boys covered in soap, each armed with a large soapy sponge, worked diligently on the interior leather seats. Because we lived on the golf course we now had a crowd of spectators gathering to watch water stream from every port of my Volvo.

Paula left for more wine while I cleaned up the mess and sent the neighborhood children home. My little girl, so exhausted from her car washing chore, fell into a deep afternoon nap. I phoned our insurance agent. When asked to describe what happened I said, "Well, to be honest this is really my mother-in-law's fault. You know, she promised ME the emerald dinner ring."

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