by Kiki Mcdonald

Created on: May 22, 2008

Last night I was talking to a friend of mine and she said she was on the way out the door because she had to go to the drugstore and pick up a prescription. Her doctor had called something in for her because she thought she might be getting a yeast infection. I know, I know, not a good dinner table discussion, but a commonplace aftershock of coming off of a round of antibiotics. Anyway, I asked her why she wasn't going to just buy something over the counter. She said it because there are too many of them, an overwhelming array or choices, how could you possibly know what to get?

I was so glad that she brought this up though, because it is a particular pet peeve of mine. "Yes!" I said "Who the hell buys the five day cure when there is a three day cure available? I mean, I can understand that you can't get the one day cure from your doctor if you don't have insurance, but why do they even make a five day cure if a three day cure exists?"

Think about it, does someone actually say to themselves, "Well, I think I'll just ride this baby out a couple more days and pocket that extra buck ninety-five. The itching isn't that bad." Seriously? So then, it led into the discussion of how they make the 12-hour relief cough syrup or just the generic cough syrup.

To me, that makes a little more sense. That comes down to economics, but it's still not fair. I mean, talk about kicking someone when they are down. There you are, with your hacking cough, down to your last five bucks. On the shelf you have the brightly colored, rainbows and butterflies smiling man who just took the 12-hour Long Lasting Relief Cough Elixir, at $8.95 a pop, and he feels freaking fantastic, thank you very much. Oh look, the truck just pulled up with his lottery winnings.

Next to it, you have the three-color box, no embellishment, $4.95 Cough Syrup. It doesn't even promise relief; much less give you any time frame. Just Cough Syrup in plain black text, not a flourish in sight. And you just know it tastes bitter as hell, much like your life right now, because that grape flavoring would have added an extra buck fifty to the price and God knows, you don't have that right now.

But you only have the five bucks in your pocket, so what are you going to do? You buy the generic crap and hope it works, at least for an hour or so. Yeah, you should be hacking up a lung again right about the time the next bill collector calls. That is, if your phone hasn't already been disconnected. Don't let the door hit you on the way out of the drugstore.

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