84 of 85

Write now Article Tools

My husband is a police officer and he works the 4pm - 12am shift. I love him dearly and I feel bad that he is so sleep deprived. After all, we have two month old twins, and they just started sleeping for five hours in a row at night. Anyway, we were very low on groceries. As parents of twins and other multiples know, grocery shopping becomes less of a priority and more of an afterthought when you go to the cupboard and realize that all you have left is a can of beans and some ice tea mix.

I decided that I would take the twins to the grocery store for the first time. I have a big twin stroller with a nice storage space underneath, so I knew that I wouldn't need a cart to pick up the necessities. I figured that I would use an online grocery store for the majority of my shopping. Plus, it was nice to get out of the house and I would be able to give my husband a little nap.

Before I left, I made a list of items that I needed: Toilet paper, milk, bread, cold cuts, and so on. It wasn't a very big list. I asked my husband if there was anything that he would like in particular and he said, "I'd really appreciate if you could pick me up some almonds for work." I added almonds to the list and got ready to go.

I bundled the babies up and headed to the store. So far, so good! In the parking lot, I took them out of their car seat, stuck them in the stroller and headed in. They were sound asleep... For all of 10 minutes. Charlie woke up in the dairy section, when I was just halfway through my list. He started screaming and wouldn't take his pacifier. His screaming woke up Catie, who chimed in with her own screaming.

I felt like I was on Supermarket Sweep with how fast I finished the rest of my shopping. I raced up and down the aisles, grabbing what I needed. As I checked things off on my list, I had just one item remaining: Almonds.

I went to the snack aisle, but they weren't there. They weren't in the produce section, either. I walked these aisles at least four times until a handsome store clerk, about 24 or so, came up to me and asked, "Is there something that I can help you find?"

Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and asked, "Where are your nuts?" The guy's face turned bright red and he stammered a little. I thought about what I said and gasped. "ALMONDS!" I shouted. "Where are your almonds?"

"Aisle three, next to the cereal," he mumbled and walked away. Mortified, I booked it on over to the almonds, grabbed the biggest container I could find, checked out and left the store. Needless to say, I now do all of my grocery shopping online.

Learn more about this author, Candice Cain.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Funny parenting stories?
We want to hear your view. Write now!