by M.J. Holliday

Created on: May 22, 2008   Last Updated: October 20, 2011

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Pre-Screening May 21, 2008
(warning: reading this review may spoil your enjoyment of the movie)

I considered myself fortunate to get passes to the pre-screening of the new Indiana Jones film. "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" has been eagerly anticipated by fans everywhere, who fell in love with Indy's reckless charm, and the devil-may-care adventure spirit that gave Raiders of the Lost Ark its magic, back in 1981.

Now, it's twenty-seven years later, in real time. Film time has advanced from the 30's to the 1950's the era of the KGB, Roswell, giant killer ants, the nuclear family, the Bomb, and fridges lined with lead. The Reds are the bad guys, much like the Nazis in the first three Indy films, only with different accents.

Somewhere, in what seems like a bizarre 50's tabloid spread, an adventure takes place, featuring our well-seasoned hero, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), and a young Marlon Brando greaser-wannabe, named Mutt (Ray Winstone).

With the deft machinations of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg behind it, "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" might have been a slick followup to an entertaining series. Harrison Ford might have proven that, even though he's older and more grizzled, the innate Indy chutzpah is still going strong. This is what every die-hard Jones fan is hoping.

Sorry, folks. Indy's off his Viagra. The movie begins with a slew of "old" jokes, and ends as a pathetic old joke.

Action lovers take heart the action is standard fare and often seems obligatory, but there's plenty of it, and thankfully it keeps the interest going throughout the film. Cate Blanchett as the villain is almost worth the price of admission. She plays it handsomely, a coiled menace with cold, calculating eyes, who springs into action with vigor and purpose, and never once smudges her scarlet lipstick. There are also creepy-crawlies galore (yawn); a military-vehicle chase through the South American jungle, complete with rampant machine-gun fire and general truck-to-truck leaping; a noteworthy bout of fencing, and the predictable drive off a cliff into unknown waters below.

Also noteworthy are the mostly-naked natives, who are all off their collective nut. Their apparent purpose is to emerge suddenly from rocks, dance freakishly, gibber and try to kill people.

This for the sake of a crystal skull with secret powers, which will help evil Cate and her KGB henchmen take over the minds of

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