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Yachting yarns: Funny stories from the high seas

by andy flewker

Created on: May 21, 2008   Last Updated: September 29, 2009

We had to stop for a small launch party coming onboard before we dock today having spent seven months away we naturally want to go home as soon as possible but oh! no.

A former seaman who had served with the shipping company for nearly twenty five years has requested that after his death his ashes would be taken aboard a company ship and that they be spread at sea. So we are drifting off the Isle of Wight at the entrance to the Solent that leads up to the port of Southampton, the crew members family have been able to meet the ship and a small service is now going to take place on the aft end of the ship.

Some of us were now assembled in a small group with the family, a priest ,and some representitives from the company, and of course the Captain. A few crew did not attend because this man was not that well liked (he was a tough nut, but he never upset me) ,one lad Peter said he ''I never liked the man and im glad he is bloody dead '' he said ,when iasked him if he was atending, ' i will be packing, and having a beer in my cabin he said''

I was wishing i had done the same it was freezing out on the deck and we are huddled together under the boat deck to escape the wind and rain .The service went quite well, a few words were said about paul, he had been a family man although he had spent most of his time at sea and sadly he had suffered a heart attack whilst at home, the song'' for those in peril on the sea'' was sang and his ashes were shaken form the urn and his wife threw a wreath , and we all leaned over the rail as the ashes blew forward along the side of the ship

There seemed to be no sound for a moment and then there was a scream and a head popped out of a porthole down below and then dissapeared again.

Having left the service i head for the bar where there is a lot ofnoise comingfrom. On entering i am confronted with a sight i will never forget. Peter is nearly naked except for his underpants and a beer, and most of the crew are laughing . Whats happened i ask .

The gust of wind blew the ashes into his cabin and they went everywhere . ''I never liked that man'' and'' now look at me ''peter said'' hes everywhere , well i damned if i am taking the fella home with me 'he said and chucked all off his stuff out of the port hole, and now hes got no clothes to where home either.....................

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