Here I am at the tail-end of my forties. I find myself wondering how I got here so quickly. Surprisingly, it's not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.

My mid-life crisis hit me in my late thirties and looking back, it's a bit of a blur - kids, housework, volunteering, and school functions dominated my life during that decade. There was very little time for "me", and I felt like I had lost my identity as an individual. This led to a period of self-centeredness, marital problems, immature behavior and eventually a divorce.

Looking back, I think the strongest feeling that catapulted me into crisis was panic. This panic was driven by the fear that I was approaching midlife and wasn't sure if I was going to accomplish the things I wanted to do or become the person I thought I should be. I temporarily lost my perspective on the big picture.

Funny what a difference a few years can make. Growing older has brought new wisdom in many ways, but I think the biggest change has been my perspective on what is important. Basic necessities aside, there is nothing more important than family. I was lucky to grow up in a home with loving parents and a close-knit extended family. It's a comfort to know that we will always be there for each other.

All the sleepless nights, dirty diapers, school field trips and teen angst were worth it. And amazingly, despite my mistakes and periods of crises, my children have grown into well adjusted, happy people... and they love me.

My memories have also become more important to me. Perhaps it's a way of temporarily ignoring the passage of time. When I think of my 21-year-old daughter, I simultaneously think of her sweet, chubby little cheeks when she was a baby and what a beautiful young woman she's become. It's funny how an individual memory seems to sort of "float" on its own and how the actual date it occurred is secondary.

I have also realized that some of the things that used to be important to me are no longer such high priorities. Inclusion in certain social groups used to matter much more. Now I really couldn't care less what other people think as long as I'm true to myself. I no longer spend my free time with people I don't truly care about. Housework has also dropped significantly down the list. Given a choice between vacuuming before company arrives and finishing the last chapter of my book, the book wins.

I am finally comfortable in my own skin and more accepting of my flaws and shortcomings, which has helped me become more accepting of others. A little humility never hurt anyone. Aging affects us all and is a great equalizer at a certain point. As difficult as life can be, I wouldn't be the person I am today without the mistakes and painful experiences. It all makes you appreciate - and treasure - the joys in your life even more.

Learn more about this author, Kimberly Christensen.
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