Ever since man has had his first conscious thought, he has mused over beginnings. He has pondered his existential natures, looking to the heavens for guidance, salvation, and rapture. He has looked at the ground for nurture, embrace, and occasional malevolence. He looks to the seas for mystery, adventure, and safe passage. All the emotional responses, the met needs, and the self awareness of man must be explainable by some higher power. Someone who wishes to bless us with gifts greater than the animals. In other words, there must be some explanation for the reason why we want to explain things. Such is the conundrum that origins bestow. Man has found one solution with many variations: religion.

The aims of organized religion are admirable, but the methods are deplorable. Raping, killing, maiming, stealing, lieing, cheating, warring, fighting, and pillaging with a hint of holocaust is a recipe for disaster in any cause. No one in the religious world can agree and their failure to compromise results in self injurious behavior.

I have a solution. Before the United States was what it is now, several founding fathers could not agree. Their ultimate solution was to compromise. Being raised in the great society of rolling over, I am willing to make the first concessions. Therefore, I have created a new religion called Juchriszorotaibudslim.

The idea of Juchriszorotaibudslim is not to be right or wrong, but to see what you can add. For example, we will study the Bible, Koran, Torah, the Dead Sea Scrolls, Egyptian hieroglyphics, Aztec myths, etc., to find out things we like. You are encouraged to cherry pick ideas and philosophies from all religions. It's like putting together a puzzle of faith.

As a Juchriszorotaibudslimian, you will be able to worship in any way you please. Go to a mosque, a church, a temple, a religious revival, or whatever, any way you want, but you're still a Juchriszorotaibudslimian.

Juchriszorotaibudslimians will have very few universal rules, but they are important. In a nutshell, they are:
-Don't Kill
-Don't Steal
-Don't Lie (Unless to spare another's feelings)
-Show Compassion to everything and everyone
-Accept every other Juchriszorotaibudslimians beliefs

Though every Juchriszorotaibudslimian has his own beliefs, you must never question them, after all, you're both Juchriszorotaibudslimians.

Not only can you have more than one god, you can pick and choose your own super team of gods. You may cross religions and regional boundaries to do it.

Whatever choices you make within this new religion, it matters little, for everyone is a Juchriszorotaibudslimian. War will fade, theocratic differences will be solved, and violence will disperse. We can all share in religious bliss as brothers and sisters. Embrace Juchriszorotaibudslim and live in harmony! You may send donations to PO Box 12345.

Learn more about this author, Andrew Franz.
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