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How to avoid anger at work

working against me. She hesitated for a moment, but then understood that it was fair to tell me the truth.

I should have guessed. Before I was hired, that assistant manager had attempted to be promoted into the job. When the company brought me in, he became obsessed with resentment. First, the implication was that he wasn't qualified, and second, in big companies like ours, the usual practice was to promote from within. Even before I showed up on the job, he hated me. After I understood the situation, I called him in for a one-on-one private meeting in my office. Then, without anger on my part, I told him that while I sympathized with his feelings, we both had jobs to do. He seemed to take my talk pleasantly enough, and when I offered my hand, he smiled and accepted. OK, problem solved without anger.

Things seemed to be going smoothly for awhile, until one morning I was suddenly summoned to the vice president's office. When I arrived, I noticed my assistant manager standing to one side with a smile on his face. It was more like a smirk when the VP chewed me out for a division assignment that had been delayed, causing deadlines to be missed and loss of company investments. I don't know if the VP planned fire me, but I'm sure my opponent did everything possible to cause it.

Fortunately for me, the story was only partly true. The job had been delayed, but for reasons outside of our power to change it. However, I had worked with company financial officials, and there had been no loss of money. When I explained this to the VP, I could almost hear the smirking face next to me fall. The VP made several phone calls while we were in his office, and then apologized to me for his error. With a big sigh of relief, I went back to my office and dropped plans for clearing it out and heading for the unemployment line. I also made another appointment to have a private talk with my assistant manager.

Did I feel angry? You bet I did. The gloves were off, but I withheld my anger and urge to ream this guy up and down in front of all the other members of the division. Once the door was closed, and we were alone, I told him firmly and finally that there was no longer any room in my division for both of us. I told him I'd give him the courtesy and time ... which he had not given me ... to resign or find another job in the company. His arrogance collapsed as fast as his face had fallen in the VP's office, and he apologized. He promised to be totally cooperative in the future, but when he left my office, we both knew that it was much too late for that.

Fortunately for both of us, within two or three months, he was offered a job in another of the company's offices some 1,500 miles away. I did nothing to warn those people of the guy's behavior with me. Unfortunately, I found out later that I should have told them the entire story, because he pulled the same tricks there. After considerable turmoil, he quit the company and opened a clothing store in a New England resort town.

I retired after 25 years with the company. My conscientious ex-secretary is still a great friend more than 40 years later,

227200_m Learn more about this author, Ted Sherman.
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