by Karen Moore

Created on: May 21, 2008   Last Updated: February 09, 2012

Anger at work can feel like it comes at you from all directions, but in reality it comes from three directions: from yourself, your co-workers or the public you deal with. The only one you have control over is yourself. Learning how to control your own anger will help keep you from letting it get the best of you and from being drawn into the anger of someone else.

Yourself
Anger can swell inside of you for a number of reasons at work. Everyone is different. When you feel anger coming to the surface zap it before it erupts as the only one it will hurt is you. Try these tips if you are angry or dealing with someone else who is angry.

Deep Breathing
Learning how to breathe will help you deal with anger, and many other situations. When you inhale take the breath while slowly counting to four and then exhale to the count of four. Do this several times and you will find your blood pressure dropping. This relates to the old adage of counting to ten before saying or doing anything.

Walk away
Either physically take a brisk walk or mentally take a walk. In your mind go somewhere for a brief moment that relaxes you. Recalling a moment when you were completely relaxed will help, such as swinging in the hammock while listening to the ocean.

Smile
It's very hard to stay angry with a smile on your face.

Let it go
I have found that men have a much easier time forgetting something and have tried to learn from them how to let something go and simply forget it. If you hang on to past issues your anger will resurface quicker when a new issue faces you. As far as work goes, you won't be there forever and in the larger scheme of things does it really matter?

Co-Workers
When dealing with an angry co-worker try and look beyond the anger. Is the person a perfectionist? Are they having trouble at home that might be spilling over at work? Are they just an angry person?

Once you have an idea where the anger is coming from it is much easier to understand it does not reflect on you even if you know what you did to upset that person. If the person is directing all the venom toward you, repeat what you are hearing they are saying back to them. If the situation is not calming, ask them if it would be possible to continue the matter at a later time when the issue is not so explosive.

If the co-worker came to you and is venting, let them vent. Ask them what you could say that would help them. Lower your voice when speaking to them. The calmness you display will be contagious. Under no circumstances

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