by Paul Young

Created on: May 21, 2008

Children are growing up too fast.

How many times have we heard that statement in the last few decades? We try to place the blame on music, or video games, the increased flow of information or television. And while I am sure that any one or all of these things are contributing factors, the sad reality is we as parents and adults are part of the problem as well.

We have gone from instilling a sense of uniqueness in our children to telling them they are special. As parents, we want to feel that our children are special as well constantly comparing them to their peers. As an unfortunate part of this process to feel good about ourselves and our children, we place too much emphasis on relatively mundane accomplishments to the detriment of the more substantial goals these children should be striving to achieve.

Indeed, when I was in Kindergarten some 35 years ago, it wasn't considered a particularly spectacular task to take a nap, eat a cookie, and learn to play well with others. No, it was considered an exercise in socialization. It was a controlled prelude to the years that lay ahead as we progressed from grade to grade ultimately reaching our senior year with a decent GPA and a little knowledge.

Thirteen years of learning, coupled with all of the ups and downs one experiences in that time, is an achievement worthy of a ceremony. Completing each grade that comes before that momentous occasion is just another step along that journey. Completion of Kindergarten is not something to belittle but it is also not an occasion that requires caps, gowns, and a prominent guest speaker.

We should be providing our children with encouragement through avenues at home and in the family. Public recognition ceremonies should be used to identify truly significant accomplishments such as scouting badges, community service, athletic achievement or the attainment of academic success outside of what is normally expected. Going the extra mile is worthy of public accolades while doing that which is required should result in satisfaction of the parent and child but not to the point that a ceremony is warranted.

Graduation is a rite of passage that has existed for years as the final event of high school and post secondary education. The dignity and honor of these rites should not be bestowed on children until they can at least truly appreciate and understand their meaning. Let the parents throw a party or have a special dinner, but not a full-fledged graduation.

Learn more about this author, Paul Young.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.