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to - what I believed was inherent in the Scriptures themselves, but not talked about in the same way I talked about it.

There were thousands of catalysts when I look back on it to my leaving the Church. But perhaps the one that truly began to turn my tide of understanding was a chapter in University of Arizona professor Gary Schwartz's book The Living Energy Universe entitled "Water Remembers."

Perhaps it was my first introduction to quantum concepts and thought. I was taking a constitutional homeopathic remedy, and I recall that the concept(s) in that chapter helped me to understand homeopathy in a new and more satisfying way. Then my ever inquisitive mind began to make quantum leaps and bounds to understanding mysteries I'd long swept under a rug saying that I would understand them "all bye and bye."

And quite suddenly, unexpectedly, shockingly to me, Jesus, who had long been the companion of my heart, and his ever-loving Father, became quite irrelevant to me overnight. I had had what is known as a "paradigm shift."

And so it was that I found myself adrift in a pool with a strong whirling, sucking nexus, trying desperately to keep my head above water, with all my life-long beliefs floating around me like bits of wreckage. Not knowing where to turn, I found people who called themselves Pagan and formed my own little eclectic study group. They were there to study Paganism. I invited them there to study them.

I had strong, nagging theological questions that I asked and asked. And every bit more about Paganism that I discovered, I asked about as well. Most of my newfound friends gazed at me with a bit of that deer-in-the-headlights look. Not having engaged Christianity in the same way I had, they couldn't understand why these things were important to me. Not having engaged with their Paganism in the way I wanted to, they couldn't understand why these things were important to me.

Finally, one night one of them stammered, "I really think you should go out east of town and find that grove out there. Those pagans think like you think. They ask the same questions you ask, and some of them just might have answers."

And thus it was that I came to the grove where my heart resides. They were a group who wrestled with questions and created beautiful rituals. They were a group committed to creating a viable, living religion - something that would be pleasing to the ancients, but in consonance with the 21st century. They talked endlessly of philosophies and cosmologies, of history and lore, of chaos and order, of hospitality and reciprocity.

And I found what I had sought for many years. My quest for holiness came to an end when I began to understand the concept of Pagan piety (practice and acts - conscious life versus blind belief).

That's why I'm Pagan. Because there are more things in this living Universe than are dreamed of in most philosophies. And because Paganism seems to embrace them all and search far beyond while most religions are content with their beliefs and dogma. My own study took me to the highest heights and the deepest depths of Christianity. But when I was given a glimpse beyond and saw the vast worlds that awaited, my joy was truly unbounded.

Learn more about this author, Julian Greene.
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