by LifebyLisa

Created on: May 20, 2008

Having four boys, three of which are hyperactive, unfocused, bored and very mischievous, I can attest to the best and worst of parent-teacher dilemmas. I have met the teachers who truly make a difference in the lives of the children they teach. They create an excitement; a twinkle in the child's eye, everyday is a new adventure. On the flip side, I've encountered many career teachers, who have a sense of self-importance, and relish in the idea that they have this sense of power.

Think about this, What other field can you enter that sends the chills up the spine of grown adults? Do you think it's accidental that they sit at a desk; the parent sits at the child's desk? Say it with me P-O-W-E-R. I wouldn't say that if I didn't personally know many teachers that thrive on their own perceived level of importance. One teacher actually told me the student's success in her classroom is based on how the parents treat her. Parents have admitted that when an informal request for money or supplies is sent home, they DOUBLE their contributions to assure they aren't scorned by their child's teacher.

The best defense I have found is to approach the teacher as a peer. Do not allow them to be unconditional, unquestioned "experts". That is a mistake I made with my oldest child, finding out the hard way at his expense that they have no exceptional knowledge that we as parents do not possess. They are mere mortals, no better or worse.

If you allow them the power, the upper hand, not questioning their opinions, judgment, thoughts, they will expect a submissive approach from you forever more.

Secondly, consider yourself an advocate of your child. If you don't stand up for your child, who will? Do not accept NO as a final answer. Teachers and school administrators in general like the easier, softer way out for themselves. If you don't ask, you won't get. They are not going to give suggestions that will add to their workload or add costs to their already pinched district budget. Much like the policy of the US military "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"; if you don't request specific information, you will receive a vague pamphlet full of legal jargon that means very little to a layperson.

If all else fails, keep a clean running journal of your correspondence with the teacher. I can tell you nothing makes a school administrator cringe more than a parent rattling off dates and times, with details of conversations and meetings. Keep running up the ladder until you find the right person.

You may think by the sound of this that I hate teachers. Not at all. I believe we are a team, working for the betterment of every child. I'm also a realist, and I've come to realize that since I don't believe in being pushy to get my way, I must find alternative paths to achieve the end result. I don't want to be blacklisted at the school, but I DEMAND that they treat me with respect as I do them. I don't appreciate the school yard games that can easily be played on parents who lack the time, knowledge or resources. I'm sure there is a flag by my name at the school district's office, but if they learn nothing else, I play fair, and the mother lion only roars when they choose not to do the same.

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