by Timothy Schnieders

Created on: May 20, 2008

I've hit a point of my life where I've been doing a lot of reflection. I've actually started seeing the actions of others and how I've done the same or similar actions in my life, my past mistakes, self-defeating, self-destructive behaviors; my sins, if you will.

See, for a first time I see, that I've really only had control of my life maybe twenty five to thirty percent of my life. God has laid a set of choices in front of me. By My own free will I chose whichever seemed to best suit my needs at the time, Most of the time ending up with negative results. These choices impacted my life for better or worse, and each choice had the same effect on several others around me. Friends, Family, employers, co-workers, my neighbor

I've always seem to keep walking in Gods good graces though. For the longest time I publicly denied God, but when the going got tough who would I run to as a last resort. That's right Him, and God would grant my prayers, sometimes directly but most of the time indirectly and I was blind to see just how He worked His Mo Jo in My Life.

Until one day God literally called me into His office. It reminded me of Don Corlione from The Godfather, Marlon Brando's raspy voice laying down an offer I couldn't refuse.

"How many favors have you asked from me, and how many did I grant. You begged me to save you from Jail, from Prison, How many times I remove the handcuffs for you when you were arrested." He spoke with authority. "Every time" I replied.
"And when you felt alone from heartache caused by your own sins, divorce, adultery, deceit, did I not grant you a wife, a child? A child that you begged me to save from death after she was born premature, Did I Not grant you these gifts?" He questioned with a gaze of pure fire.

"Yes My Lord, You granted My Hearts Desires" I replied, slowly figuring out what He was getting through to Me.

He spoke again, this time in a tone that I knew meant business, and a tone like the hammer of a gun cocked back, a guillotine being raised. "Then what have you done for me, how have you tried to repay of these favors?"

"None My Lord, None" I replied, with a feeling of shame washing over Me.

He leaned in closer to me, whispering to Me "Then consider options to repay Your debts to Me, before I remove these gifts that I have granted You, Your family, Your friends, Your talents, Your freedoms each slowly disappearing from Your life until life is the last gift You have left." He paused, "and if you recall, every time you tried in the past

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