Six months ago, our family, moved to a new town, a new house, and for my oldest daughter - a new school. Every new stage in our lives requires transition. It is how we set up, prepare, and involve our children in these stages of transition that help them develop the skills they will need later in life to handle various situations in their lives.
When the day came, we knew we would have to move, we told our children we'd be getting a new house, and live in a new town. Younger children, usually embrace transition in one or two ways: they are scared, or they can't wait to go on the adventure. Older children may not agree with their parent's decision, but it you sit down and discuss it with them, they will understand and respect your decision more than being told.
Let your child be apart of the transition. We were expecting a new baby, selling one house, finding a new house, changing schools, relocating to a new town, and leaving friends behind. Each of these transitions alone, can be overbearing for a child. Make yourself available to your child when they need to talk. Try to answer their questions as honestly a possible. Don't build false hopes in their hearts or unreasonable expectations.
As we prepared for a new baby, we allowed our older two children to help set up the nursery, pick out coming home outfits for the baby, and set up special places for toys, and discussed new rules for when the baby arrived. We listened to name suggestions and made to sure to comfort and ease any worries of their status in our lives.
During the new house hunt, we took our children with us. We listened to their likes, dislikes, and kept their best interest in mind. We looked at three dozen houses, until finally; we found one that met most of our five and three year olds wish list in mind, along with family's functionality.
What might sound like an exciting adventure one day, can be a scary reality the next. Going places, like the dentist, the doctor, meeting new people can be very stressful and create separation anxiety in your child. Be prepared to take extra time when this occurs. Discuss this possibility ahead of time when going to the doctor or dentist. Don't be afraid to switch health providers for the sake of your child's comfort level. Reenact a typical doctor visit during playtime at home.
If your child has a lovey a favorite blanket or toy let them cuddle it during the transitional event. It is okay if they haven't held on it in a long time. They might have felt safe and secure in their present situation, and now they need that extra comfort to help them move on. If they cling to you, wrap around your leg, wander along with you everywhere, then lots of hugs and bed time talks can ease the worry.
A few nights before a new event is about to happen in your child's life, do as I do, tell your child a story. If you're not good at making up stories, then find a book in the local library relating closely to what is going on or about to happen in your child's life. Read or tell the story and tuck your little one each night with a super big hug.
When the day came we brought home a new baby sister, my other two children couldn't wait to help with the baby. They saw the baby as their sibling, not an intruder. On moving day, my kids couldn't wait to load up their toys, and get to their new rooms. The first day of school happened twice for my oldest this year, and both times it was me, mom, who stood waving at the bus stop with tears in my eyes.
Today, and everyday, our children grow, transition, and learn to accept the challenges we present to them. Children are stronger then we give them credit. They look to us, as parents, for guidance and demonstration. For once, look at life through their eyes, and before you know it, transition won't be so scary anymore even for us.