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We live in a society where the acceptable norm is to insult others in an effort to solicit laughter! This has developed into a fine art which has provided comedians with a quick route to fame and riches. Personal responsibility for our words and actions is not a factor.

Who first decided it is humorous to spotlight someone's perceived weaknesses or foibles?

Why do we accept as entertaining poisonous barbs? Are we all guilty of slamming others, and if so, why do we continue to behave in such a destructive manner?

Speech patters are a developed skill, learned initially when we are babies. Words such as "bad" or "naughty" plant seeds of self-doubt and inadequacy in one's own skills. When we see ourselves in such a negative fashion, even on an unconscious level, we attempt to heal our wounded egos by belittling others. In this way, we feel we are presenting ourselves as wiser, funnier or the first to speak and, therefore, lead a conversation.

Negativity is never regarded as a factor or consequence of our words. We can acknowledge the fact that once spoken, words can not be recalled; however, we rationalize their affects. Ironically, we never seem to recognize that we are continuing a degrading manner of speaking, or, if realization creeps into our thoughts, it is quickly dismissed as inconsequential.

The most insidious result of our negative words is the long term impact on our children.

When parents insult a child, calling him names such as stupid, mean or bullheaded, they do so because that is the way there were taught to speak by their parents. When asked why they talk that way, parents excuse their behavior, labeling it "discipline" or saying the child "made me so mad".

People are unable to acknowledge an error because their egos have been mutilated by words applied to them at a time when they were vulnerable and required nurturing, not bruising. The sad consequence of their behavior is that they, like their parents and grandparents, ad infinitum, are teaching their children the same destructive manner of talking to others. Not only are children learning negative words but, worse still, they are learning to dislike and distrust themselves.

Sadder yet is the fact that most of these children never reach their potential because they were taught that they were inadequate.

Depriving children of a healthy psyche not only deprives them of a rewarding life but also defrauds the entire world of many great accomplishments. Perhaps someone would have developed a cure for cancer, or a way to feed third world countries, if they had been taught to think of themselves in a positive manner.

One thing is certain. If everyone was able to forgo the use of negative words, we would have few bruised egos. As the tide of negativity ebbs, the growth of positive reinforcement would influence our entire world. Such an occurrence could foster habits that would have the potential to create a new, and healthier, civilization.

Learn more about this author, Bette Wayne.
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