Stand Up, Don't Stand Aside

Upon researching the many domestic violence titles that were available to write on I discovered that Surviving Domestic Violence was the title that had been written to most. I found myself able to relate and sad to think that thousands of people everyday fall victim to this horrible and sometimes fatal crime. Though many of us are survivors, none of us should have to be. This is a problem that has continued through out time. It is a sad fact that there are many different forms of this type of violence but an even sadder fact is many will turn away when they see it happen only to deny that they saw anything at all.

I myself have been abused in many ways. Unable to speak about it for many years I suffered in silence. Not necessarily with the abuser but with the lasting effects of the abuse. I suffered terrifying nightmares, panic attacks, my relationships suffered from my inability to trust, everyday life happening such as grocery shopping became nearly impossible. I became the victim for life, not just for the time of the abuse.

In my situation the abuser had convinced me that I was "crazy" and that I would "never amount to anything" and I had allowed myself to fall into that belief. I was afraid to speak out for fear that he would abuse me even more and when I did tell, people seemed to dismiss me. I felt so alone. Oh, I saw the advertisements for agencies that were there to help and when I called they told me to go to a shelter. I was scared of everything.

Not very many women, or men for that matter, want to pick up their child and run to a shelter to hide. They fear what will happen if they are found. They fear that their child will think that they are weak because they ran, and they know the shelter is temporary and many fear they can not financially make it on their own with a child. That is probably the number one reason women stay in an abusive relationships. They have been convinced that they can not make it own their own. They fear everything.

No one really speaks of the feelings and fears that run so high in this situation. They talk about recognizing the signs and where to go for help. I have seen articles that speak of what victims have suffered so as to help others see and believe that they are being abused. The fact is most abused people know they are being abused, they know how to recognize the signs but just can't believe that someone that they love or wanted to believe loved them would do this. Once

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