It is hard for me to talk about my dad. I guess I am still grieving over his death even though it has been seven years since he left us. Dad died in July 2001 of lung cancer. It was a big shock to us all, especially to me, because I was pregnant with my first child.

When my father was first diagnosed, no one in my family would tell me what was wrong with him, because they did not want to upset me while I was pregnant, I guess. My biggest fear was that he had cancer, and a week later, my sister had confirmed that fear. I was told he had six weeks the most left, as his cancer had progressed into the last stages. I went home and cried all night, thinking that he was never going to be able to see my son, because he was due in ten weeks.

The next day, I went to the hospital to see him. When I told him that I knew, he started crying and he made a promise to me that he will be around when my son was born. No matter what, he wasn't going anywhere until my baby was born - those were his exact words. I had bought him a teddy bear from the gift shop and he smiled and told me he wanted to save it and give it to the new baby.

Seven weeks later, I went into an early labor with my son. I was in labor with him for nearly twenty four hours, and when he arrived on my dad's Birthday. I had called Dad a little later after my son was born, and I remembered dad crying on the phone and telling me that he had received the best Birthday present that he ever had in his whole life.

After, my Dad started deteriorating quite rapidly. It was hard to try and look after a new baby and reassure dad that everything was going to be alright. He died three weeks later, in a hospice in Perth that is reserved especially for terminally ill patients.

My whole family was there to say goodbye to him. I had never seen my mother so sad and so heartbroken in my whole life. I realized then that my parents had a special and strong bond. They loved each other so much and the thought of loosing dad was too much for mum do bare. My sister and I said our goodbyes to Dad and told him how much we loved him. Then we went outside to leave mom alone, and that was when I found out my sister was five months pregnant. It was heartbreaking for her.

My sister and I sat down on a grassed area, in the sunshine, and all of a sudden, a soft breeze appeared in the otherwise still and sunny day and my sister and I looked at each other and cried. We knew he had passed away at that moment. Shortly after, a nurse came out and told us that he was gone.

Dad was and still is my best friend. I know he is still around us, watching us and protecting us. I just wish with all my heart that I could walk into a room and sit down at the table with him, crack open a beer and share jokes with him. He was always laughing and joking around and that is exactly how I remember him each day.

Learn more about this author, Belinda Brown.
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