by Michelle Jones

Created on: May 19, 2008   Last Updated: March 21, 2011

Encouraging toddlers to make friends can be hard at times, especially when your little angel doesn't want to share their toys, or their mummy's attention.
I found this out when I took my son to Little Stars Storytime. I seem to remember my son playing nicely by himself, and as soon as the kids tried to play with him or the toys he had, he went ballistic and screamed the place down.

I didn't have a clue then of what to do with him. I did try taking him there again, but my son was having none of it. Everytime someone went near him, he would cry, so I stopped taking him, because I don't believe in forcing children to make friends. My son was obviously not comfortable with the other children, and I think that he might have felt crowded - which is a thing he has never liked, even as a young baby.

So I ask myself, what will he be like when he goes to preschool. Well I will admit I am not looking forward to that when it arises. My son seems to be getting better around other children; he seems more relaxed. But what will he be like when he has to share and play with them? I dread to think. Even though my son has never been comfortable around other children, he is totally different with his cousin, which he only sees about two or three times a year. Yet they get along like a house on fire; there is no separating them. So I think that my son may just be a bit fussy at who comes near him, which I suppose is natural at that age. After all, he's not even 2 yet.

I think you should let your children take their time with making friends. After all, they must feel comfortable in their little world that way. I think that if you force your children to try and make friends you make them with draw even more into themselves, and maybe then they will experience difficulties communicating with others as they grow older. I mean what is the rush to make a child the most popular at the age of 2 and 3. Children at that age are just discovering what they do and don't like. Toddlers, I must say, are very determined little people with a mind of their own. Let them figure out when they want to make friends by themselves. Don't ever force your children to make friends; I can guarantee they won't thank you for it.

So how do you get your toddler to make friends? Let them go at their own pace, because nine times out of 10 a child will not take any notice of their parents and they will do what they want - especially when you tell them not to touch. What do they do? they touch.

Let your child see how far they can drift from their comfort zone - to see when they feel comfortable around others without feeling pushed.

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