by Susan Lower

Created on: May 18, 2008

The most important life skill your child will ever have is - making friends.

As a parent, it is our job to prepare our children for the grown up world, and everybody knows the only way to succeed in life is to get along with others. We start when they are born, their first introduction is to their parents, their siblings (if they have any), and then their grandparents and extended family. They develop their safe zone of people, arms they feel secure in, and faces, smells, sounds that comfort them.

When babies grow, can walk on their own, their curiosity propels them into the paths of others. We use the term "making strange" when our child tears up and cries in the presenses of someone new. It is here, in these moments, that we begin to introduce our children to making new friends, and teaching the difference of friends and strangers.

Everyone is a stranger until they become a friend. Upon meeting another child, or being left with an adult caregiver, your child will look back at you for guidance. Smile, encourage, get down on their level and look at the new person as they would. They might need a hug for reassurance, or just a few kind words. What ever it may be, make sure you child knows you are behind them where they can reach you while making this introduction.

Introducing toddlers to other children their age can be as easy as making a play date. It might not be a good idea to walk up to any parent and child combo on the street to inquire about playing together, but you can certainly show your child how to be friendly by saying, "hello" as you pass them by, or smile and wave.

When at the park, give your child a little space. Don't force your toddler to play with a bunch of kids if they don't want to. Let your child establish where in the park they want to play safely by pointing out suggestions. If their are other toddlers around, keep close to their parents and join in conversation. By you making first contact with other parents around, you are demonstrating to your child how to make new friends. Most of the time you will find your child imitating what they see you doing.

Join a playgroup that meets on a regular basis. I highly recommend MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) where mothers and their young children can develop new friendships. Check community calenders and check local preschools for opportunities for your child to socialize with others their age. If your child doesn't participate the first few times, that is okay, they may need a time or two to adjust

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