by Robert Breedlove

Created on: May 17, 2008   Last Updated: November 10, 2010

Oh yeah . . . it's the weekend . . . recreation, relaxation, no work day blues! Oh yeah, it's the weekend . . . yard work, house cleaning, car cleaning, repair work, honey do's, the kids . . . shoot!

Weekends are busy times. You have things you need to do and things you want to do. One of the things you probably want AND need to do is spend some time with your teens. Of course, they have all those things that they do also. Getting together can be a difficult thing to arrange. So how do you do it?

One of the easiest ways is to involve your teens in the household activities. From a young age, teach them that being part of the family means being involved in the family activities - those that you want to do and those that you need to do. Plan activities that you can do together, but which allow you time to communicate.

For example, when it's 100 degrees outside, wash vehicles together. You can have lots of fun and spend some time talking with your kids. Make sure that you wash all the vehicles, including theirs. Make it a family affair - get wet, cool off, communicate. Likewise, house cleaning and yard work can be more enjoyable when it is shared. Involve your teens in the family and spend the time talking with them while you work your want through the drudgery of weekend chores.

So I hear you saying, "Sure, my teen is really going to stay around for those types of things." They will if you have involved them since they were younger. But, I understand, teens need some time away from their family. They can find it much more enjoyable to be with their friends than their father and mother and little siblings.

In those cases, arrange a family "event" each weekend. Again, try to make it something that allows you, at least, some time to communicate with each other. A meal together as a family tradition can be a great time. During the summer, barbecue. Let the kids prepare one of the meals. Take the family out to breakfast on Sunday, whatever works for your family. Make it a time when you can talk with your teen about things that interest them.

Spend some time with your teen one-on-one, away from the rest of the family. Not "quality time", but something that you both enjoy. Play a sport together, go for a walk, hike the back country, go fishing . . . whatever you BOTH enjoy that gives you a time to communicate with each other.

Make this time special by doing it on your teen's schedule. That is, do it when they want to, not when it is convenient for you. Accommodating your teen's schedule will make the time seem more special to them. It will not make them feel like dad is fitting them in. Instead it will say that dad cares enough to fit into my interests.

And speaking of fitting them in. Be ready to talk with your teen when THEY are ready. Give them you full attention and spend as much time with them as THEY need. The weekend can be a time when you and your children are both more relaxed and ready to discuss things which bother them. Give them your attention, give them your time. There is no more valuable gift.

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