by Kodjo Adadevoh

Created on: May 17, 2008   Last Updated: November 27, 2009

There is a really good reason why we all perceive the grass as being greener somewhere else. No one on earth has the ability to fulfill all of their wishes and desires. Certainly we can fulfill our needs but our wants tend to increase with each successive achievement we attain. The problem is confounded by the fact that we live in one of the greatest countries on earth and as a result we are exposed to incredible amounts of wealth and information. Also, the process of relative comparison occurs in our heads even if we suppress these thoughts, it is normal to compare ourselves to others. This very activity is what propels us forward and makes us strive to increase our productivity.

The thought of being in a better place or assuming a change in our present condition to make things better, is not a bad thing. We all need to have something to look forward to in our lives; it is these dreams and aspirations that keep us going each day. Imagine a life in which you have nothing to look forward to. The driving forces that propel us to wake up each day are our dreams and aspirations, without these dreams and aspirations; we would have no reason to live. As we accomplish our goals, we tend to look for new ones to conquer; this is the natural progression of life.

The grass appears greener on the other side simply because we have not experienced the other side. Be it a bigger house, a bigger or more expensive car, a higher paying job, a better looking partner or something else; our desire for bigger and better is natural. To the extent that we are incapable of earning enough or gaining enough power to fulfill all of our wants, we continue to improve ourselves and advance in our knowledge and abilities. The term in economics for this phenomenon is productivity. We increase our productivity because of competition.

It is impossible to fully understand and appreciate certain things without having lived through them, we all learn from experience. There is also a delicate balance between wants and needs and a balance between desire and greed. We do not always fully appreciate these distinctions until we get burnt or we have a very bad experience. We do not always appreciate how lucky we are or what is going good in our lives and how much we have to be thankful for until we have lost it.

Wisdom and maturity are acquired over time and are experience based. As a result, we tend to find that people who want to "keep up with the joneses" still have a lot of learning to do. We need to recognize the clear distinction between wants and needs. Many of the things we want are unnecessary, and our desire for these things distracts us from spending our time in more productive ways.

The real issue is how do we distinguish between a good opportunity and a misadventure? The ability to do this comes with experience and even with experience we will sometimes make mistakes. Focus, discipline and self-awareness are necessary ingredients to living a healthy and productive life. We should set goals for ourselves and our goals should not be based on what someone else desires or suggest that we do, they should be based on old school practical and logical reasoning.

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