by Matthew Brendal

Created on: May 17, 2008   Last Updated: June 25, 2009

My initial thought for "horse" people who may not want to develop a relationship would be one simple thing. Buy a motorcycle or an ATV!

The foundation to being a good horseman is the relationship you develop with the horses you own or train. The horse will excel to a much higher level if there is a sincere realtionship developed between you. In order for this realtionship to blossum you have to give of yourself first. You must be a teacher, a friend, a leader, a caregiver and anything else that horse needs to be a great horse. What does a horse give you in return? Honesty and helping make you a better person.

Now I know this may sound like some cheesy old Kung Fu movie wisdom, but I really think it's true. I think when you can take a horse from raw to being a great horse, you will know consistant excellence. As Aristotle pointed out a few years back, excellence should become a habit.

You see unlike people, a horse will never lie to you. So if you can't handle the truth, you may want to start looking at motorbikes. Any fault you have, a horse will exploit it. If you are over bearing, the horse won't develop as well. If you are pushover, you will never get the horse to excel. If you don't have the skills to communicate properly, you will just get frustrated. If you are a poor leader, you will have a horse that is a poor follower.

A good relationship with a horse is not defined by a bigger meaner bit. A true partnership between human and horse is truly defined with the subtle soft hands that speak eloquently. A good relationship with a horse is also not defined with bribing the horse with excessive treats, it is defined as a partnership. The rule of thumb training horses is, men are too demanding and women are not demanding enough. Which means this to me, men as a rule will have better success if they are gentler. Women will have more success if they are firmer with the horse. But really every horse is different. Some excel better with a firm hand, others less so. A good horseman knows exactly how much of what is needed. No more, no less.

A good horseman must treat each horse uniquely. There is no cookie cutter recipe for all relationships. That is the secret of being a great horseman, knowing exactly when and how or what a horse needs, at precisely the right time. But your horse will tell you exactly what he needs. But you must pay attention. Don't expect the relationship to be automatic just you cause you love your horse. Your horse could care less that you pay the feed bills. That nice halter you just bought will have zero influence on increasing your horse's love for you. The relationship you develop with your horse is the only thing that matters to the horse. That's some pretty brutally honest stuff.

Also don't take it personal if your horse bucks you off, kicks you or steps on your foot. He is just communicating honestly to you. That's his way of screaming at you. You are not fulfilling your part of the relationship. You are not being a leader he respects. Huge behavior problems in horses are gigantic holes in your relationship.

When you have a huge problem with your horse, you need to identify what YOU are doing wrong. The horse is just being a horse. You need to get the tools to help define your relationship better. Once you do, then the problems will start to work themselves out. Like marriage counseling helps in a realtionship. That's the great thing about horses, they force you to be a better person. I've never heard of a motorcycle making anyone a better person. Horses on the other hand are God's gift to making humans better people.

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