by Sara Willis

Created on: May 17, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Autism- Our story

Autism is a word that instills fear into the heart of any parent. Like Downs Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy, it is a condition that is generally well known but unless it touches you personally, not all that well understood. Although I had known a few people who had autistic children, I didn't really understand what it was or how children with autism were affected. To be honest, it wasn't something I thought about too deeply because I never really thought it could happen to me.

When my second child was born, he appeared to all extents to be a big, beautiful, healthy boy. Delivered at 39 weeks weighing 3.85kg, our baby boy immediately became the apple of his father's eye. While exhausted from a difficult and traumatic birth, I felt vindicated that again we had managed to bring a "perfect" child into the world.

However, it was honestly within hours that I began to develop a distressing and unshakable sense that all was not right with our son. He screamed from the second he was born and for the next several days at the hospital. Nothing would comfort him, to the point where I too was inconsolable. On day 6 when the midwife visited us at home, she found both myself and my child hysterical- me forcibly trying to attach him to my breast, he violently resisting. When he finally gave in and fed from the breast he screamed inconsolably for hours after-wards. This would become a pattern that distressed us both immeasurably. By 6 weeks of age we were both admitted to hospital as I had developed mastitis. We spent 3 days with me spending most of the time sitting, sobbing in the toilet with the shower running to drown out his screams.

Despite the obvious feeding difficulties my son was having, the most alarming thing to me was that he genuinely did not respond to me at all, in any way. I could rock him, try to comfort him, but to all extents my efforts were fruitless. It was honestly as though I were not there at all. From only a few months of age I began saying to people, "I think he is autistic." I don't even think I knew what that meant at the time, but it was the only word that came to mind to explain my son's behavior.

At 10 weeks of age Alexander was admitted to hospital, (as he was by this stage going almost 24 hours between feeds,) and diagnosed with severe dairy and soy allergy. Finally, it seemed that we were getting some answers. Still, while life began to slowly improve, I could not shake the feeling that all was still not quite right with our baby.

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