by Lily Li

Created on: May 17, 2008

The movie "Mean Girls" has taken on a whole new meaning in the lives of young teens. I work at an inner city high school and girls are getting meaner and meaner with each other. I believe that life is moving so fast, expectations are increasing, and lack of self control and self love are causing them to take their frustrations out on each other. They are using such weak excuses as, "she looked at me ugly, she made an ugly face at me, she was looking at my boyfriend, she is trying to get with my ex-boyfriend, she is a bitch, I just don't like her, she thinks she's so smart, she's ugly, she hangs out with those people and I hate them, she's not a part of our gang and she's so gay." There seems to be no tolerance for each other even though they want the same things;they do not know how to hear what the other is saying. They have almost no communication skills, and it is easier for them to attack verbally or physically instead of sitting down to mediate. These girls are not passive or girlie. They are hard, hateful, worldly,and unafraid. They have refused to sign contracts and have shown no remorse regardless of the consequences presented to them. I wonder what has gone wrong in our society that young girls are not taught how to embrace themselves, love themselves, and practice tolerance. Usually girls who bully have been doing so since middle school and are friends with the girls they now bully. Schools need to enforce a tougher and swifter form of punishment for those who refuse to seek a solution to the problem. The laws of this country have not helped these teens cope with the reality of our world after high school. Do not be passive if you daughter, sister or any girl you know tells you that she is being picked on. Be proactive. Go to her school and speak to an administrator,her teachers and counselor. Do not feel the you must tolerate the poor behaviors of girls because they are girls. Harm or the intent to harm is a fact and should not be taken lightly. If you seek help and help does not seem to be forthcoming, go get help somewhere else. Do not accept pat answers, pats on the back or "We'll see what we can do." Demand action and document, document, document. Never walk away from a conference with something in writing signed and dated. Know your child's handbook and make sure issues of bullying is addressed. If there are parts that is not understood, get clarification. Know what the law has to say. Don't take anything for granted. If girls are bullying your child, it is not a mistake, they aren't joking around, and if that is the excuse being put on the table, don't walk away and make your child feel that she is at fault and not validated. If you don't understand the seriousness of this matter, Google it for yourself. Words are powerful and the physical can become deadly. Girls do not fight the same way they did back in the 70's,80's or 90's. These girls are vicious and what better way to show it than to be seen on Youtube. Check your child's Myspace account for messages and hints of bullying and violence. I really think families need to create more time together especially at the dinner table. Make time for conversation without being pushy or overbearing. When there is no one to talk to at home, and fear of being called a rat by peers and distrust of adults at school are breeding grounds for a bully to overpower a life.

Stay informed, watchful, and prepared.

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