There are many ways to avoid emotionally unavailable men. The most important, I believe, is to be emotionally available to yourself. A person should have a healthy sense of self. Being well grounded and having achieved ego identity is a pre-requisite to having any healthy relationship. Having the ability to provide your own needs; and not feeling the need to rely on others(men) for emotional satisfaction. This is having an internal locus of control; and not an external locus of control.

Also, having a high emotional IQ assist to a grand degree. This includes having the ability to know what you are feeling. Obtaining the skill in assessing what another person is feeling. Then, having the knowledge to put those two to use, using them together in communication. If a person has a high emotional IQ, then they will have the ability to sense if their male companion is emotionally available; or not.

A tactic that has worked many times is not to look for a male companion. You may have one fall into your lap when you least expect it. When seeking, you may have your "rose colored sunglasses" on. You probably do not have realistic expectations. You should be aware of your own emotional availability. A person should also look to see if their expectations are too high.

Developing friendships with males firsthand, and testing the waters is a good place to start before seriously becoming involved in a serious relationship. You can have the opportunity if you so choose to go for coffee or such with many men. While doing so, you can observe, and even discuss with them their experience with you. You can also ask if it is okay to speak about past relationships. Having open and honest communication is key to any healthy relationship.
Having clear, healthy boundaries is also essential in avoiding emotionally unavailable men. Boundaries are a tool that provides safety and keeping unhealthy people at bay; or providing guidelines to keep the relationship respectable. Boundaries also provide safety in any relationship.

Meeting men in healthy atmosphers is a good way to find a emotionally available male. Finding a male companion at a bar decreases such a find. By way of meeting someone at a class or gym, a person stands a higher rate of meeting someone emotionally available. Taking the relationship slow is best to see where the person stands. You can then asses their emotional intelligence.

When seeking a male companion, looking for someone that you may not otherwise be attracted to might come as a complete surprise. Women tend to unconsciously seek out their fathers. By giving the man a chance that you may not find sizzling, you may pleasently find that he is not only emotionally available, but exciting in ways that you may not have percieved beforehand.

Learn more about this author, Rush Mckenzie.
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