by Emilie Carrillo

Created on: May 16, 2008

Marriages between introverts and extroverts can succeed. The fact is that marriages are not based on personality traits or preferences, but on communication, trust and commitment.

An extrovert is someone who thrives in a crowd and will seek them out. This person can often be "the life of the party" because of how well they can work a room. The extrovert will usually be in the middle of a crowd, almost orchestrating the conversation around themselves. Extroverts tend to include many people in conversations.

An introvert usually does not seek out crowds and some are often uncomfortable in crowds. The introvert prefers to be alone or with one or two close friends. Some introverts don't mind crowds, but they tend to not join in on crowd conversations. Instead, they will find one or two people and hold a conversation with them on the outskirts of the group.

So, how could these two types marry without problems arising? Well, obviously, if the couple was always at a party, they would end up talking very little. But, if communication is not a problem for these two people, then the marriage will work just fine. The most important part of marriage is communicating with each other, not with a crowd or small group.

For some reason, extroverts and introverts are often drawn together. Maybe they feel they need someone to complement them and maybe the saying "opposites attract" is just true.
I married an extrovert and I am an introvert. My husband loves to work a crowd. As a pastor, he is continuously talking to large groups and often the center of attention.

I am a writer, someone who prefers to be alone with her notebook, book or computer. I don't shy away from crowds and I don't avoid them, but I certainly don't seek them out. But, when I am in a crowd, I find one or two people to talk to. I am an excellent communicator and have done countless interviews with strangers. I have no problem talking to my close friends for hours, but I would rather I talk to them in private.
My husband thrives in party-like settings. He can hold everyone's attention. Maybe that's part of what drew me to him in the first place.

At one point while we were dating, he was talking to a group of people at a barbecue and I was sitting at the picnic table watching. I wondered whether I was making the right decision to date him, since we were obviously so different. I considered breaking off the relationship because I couldn't see how it would work when our personalities were so different.

But, then, as we walked away from the crowd, he took my hand and told me he was glad we were spending the day together. I knew that our relationship would work because we enjoyed spending time together. I knew it would work because I trusted him to always be there when I needed him. I also knew it would work because we would never get in the way of each other like two extroverts might.

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