by Dr. S.S. Dhillon

Created on: May 16, 2008   Last Updated: February 24, 2010

Self-talk towards Positive Attitude

When you watch children carrying out tasks such as tying their shoelaces, it is interesting that they talk themselves through the action. Without this chatter, the task is difficult to learn and perform. Recent research has suggested that self-talk is useful, especially when you switch from negative to positive talk.

As you talk to yourself, be sure to concentrate on the good rather than the bad aspects of the problem at hand. For example, if someone yelled at you, instead of getting upset, say to yourself, "I know I am being yelled at, but she is under stress too and has probably had a bad day." Similarly in other examples of self-talk say to your self: (1) "I must turn down that extra work. I can cope now, but with extra work I will be snowed under." (2) "It may be difficult, but I am going to go through the argument with them again."

Here're some words of wisdom to develop a positive attitude:
1. Constructive assessment of our mistakes and short-comings is a healthy attitude, but calling ourselves names, or expressing frustration at our limitations can create a negative emotional effect on our body. The latter can easily lead to self-punishment and self-hate, which can end up in psychic pain, worry, depression, anxiety or physical illness.
2. Self motivation may lead us to realize that life has some meaning and direction. An active life- having a reason for living is a healthy attitude.
3. Persistence can turn adversity into greatness. Remember all great people started as ordinary human beings but had a dream, persisted, endured, determined, disciplined, dedicated and with a positive mental attitude achieved their goals. If they can persist, you can too- so begin to persist.
4. Honor and respect must be earned and inspired, not demanded. And those who fail to even respect themselves cannot command respect from others.
5. Don't be delightful because of praise, and don't be distressed because of blame:
pleasure and pain
praise and blame
fame and shame
loss and gain,
are all the same.
6. "He insulted me, he hurt me, he defeated me, he robbed me."
Those who think such thoughts will not be free from hate.
-anonymous
7. Get outside yourself. Stress causes people to turn into themselves and focus too much on their problems. Find something other than yourself and your accomplishments to care about, and think about other people rather than about yourself only.
8. The good you find in others, is in you too.
The faults you find in others,

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