by Dr. S.S. Dhillon

Created on: May 16, 2008   Last Updated: July 09, 2008

How to Handle Social Myths and Expectations!

We grow up with certain myths and expectations that mostly come from society. Handling of these expectations and social myths can relieve undue stress. You can certainly recognize some of the examples below, and the pressure that is carried with them.

1. I must be competent and win the approval of people I think are significant to me.

2. I must please everyone.

3. Happiness comes from the outside.

4. Life must deal justly with me.

5. Others must give me reward and support me whatever I do.

6. There is always a clear-cut and identifiable solution to every problem.

7. I must never make mistakes.

How many of us can live up to the above myths and expectations. How can we expect, for example, that people should always be fair and reasonable to us or never disappoint us.

Let us go over the consequences of the above list of mythologies and expectations. For example, if you feel that you must win the approval of everyone around you, you will spend a great deal of time doing what other people want or what you think they want. And when you try to please everybody, your actions will be inconsistent and arbitrary since it is impossible to please everybody. Even more important, you will always be frustrated.

If you believe that happiness comes from the outside, you will waste a lot of time chasing it-and fail to find it. All the evidence suggests that happiness comes from within yourself. You will be similarly disappointed if you believe that justice is always to be expected in life. And you will become stressed almost daily as you bewail your situation. Believing that there is always a clear solution to a problem means that you will often spend a great deal of time seeking non-existent answers.

Never to make mistakes means that you will spend your whole life checking and double-checking your mistakes. It also means that you cannot admit you are wrong. If you believe that you must never fail, then you are much more likely to do so.

To reduce the stress caused by mythologies and expectations, you must learn to accept the realities of life and to use those realities to the best effect.

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