by Michael Westmont

Created on: May 16, 2008

My little girl is almost thirteen. Let me begin by saying that, as a Dad in charge of raising a little girl, these kinds of things have been educational, to say the least. My little girl, though only twelve, already exhibits the traits of a teenager, if not an adult. Frankly it's terrifying!

Shopping with my young "princess" used to be quite a challenge but, over time, I've developed a few strategies that provide for harmony during the shopping experience. There needs to be a give and take relationship when you shop. The key is to know your daughter well enough to make your "gives" count. If you end up with your "give" being the tattoo on the small of her back, let me put it very simply, you lost. Your daughter has to understand what you're up to for this system to work. She must be aware that the "give and take" strategy is being employed and that her participation will eventually get her more of what she wants and also allow for fewer headaches, which she will actually appreciate too.

"Mom, I want these pants." When you look to see that they are so tight that circulation isn't even possible and there are parts of her showing that should wait for a more serious relationship than a pair of pants can provide, a compromise must be made. Simply saying, "no," will not change what she wants, nor will it allow for anything constructive to be accomplished. Also, steer clear of saying things like, "I never had pants like that when I was your age," or more derogatory statements like, "those make you look like a tramp." The first argument doesn't translate because she doesn't care about what you had when you were young and the second argument will only inspire rebellion.

Solution? Treat them like adults. You'd be surprised the effect this has. Though they are young, they are people and inherently want to be treated as such. In the situation above, I always take a trip to the food court to "discuss" the pants in question. At this point, we've done this so many time that my daughter knows what to expect. Sometimes she actually just says that she doesn't want the pants that bad and we don't have to go. So what happens at the magical food court that has inspired this new behavior? We go there to discuss the merits of the pants she wants.

The first benefit is that we leave the store. Pre-teens are so driven by impulse that getting them away from the situation and into a new one really helps. Many times, she's actually told me that she doesn't want the pants before we get to the

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