by John S. Gebbia

Created on: May 16, 2008

The question of whether or not a manager should date an employee is about as old as the very concept of employment, itself. It's probably about as old as the question of whether or not a manager should hire a member of their family, or their spouse. The best way to answer any of these questions would be to say "not anymore."

Originally, "businesses" were completely a "family-affair". Dad was "the Boss". Mom was his "Second-in-Command". The eldest son was eventually going to take over the business. This was never disputed. That's just the way things were. Girlfriends and boyfriends were actually encouraged to work in the business, and continued there after they married into the family. That was then, this is now, and, with very few exceptions, times have changed.

About ten years ago, I was the Store Manager of an extremely popular and profitable business. Both the company and the industry were really in their heyday, I was very happy, I actually enjoyed going to work every day; and all was right with the world. Then SHE came into my store.

I'm going to call her "Kate". She was thin, and lovely, and seemed truly elegant. My first thought was "wow!", and my second was "what clever thing can I say to this girl that'll get her to go out with me?". I didn't need to think for very long, because, a moment later, she asked me if I was hiring.

As soon as Kate asked me that, I mentally "shrugged my shoulders", and put aside any romantic thoughts that I might have had at the time. Her question put me into "Manager Mode", and I took her over to the computer to take the pre-employment quiz.

The way I'd looked at it, if she actually passed the quiz, which almost NOBODY did, I'd hire her in a microsecond; because I was that desperate to get qualified employees. If she didn't pass it, she'd be as disappointed as everyone else who'd failed it before her; and she'd be out the door as soon as the test was over. Neither case seemed particularly conducive to our starting out any kind of a romantic relationship. In retrospect, I wish I'd been right!

Kate passed the test easily, and I started to interview her for the job. She was doing amazingly well at it, but, right in the middle of the interview, my work day ended, and I asked her if she wouldn't mind finishing it the next day. It was at that moment that Kate asked me the one question that turned this into a focal point in the "history book" that was my life. She asked me if we could continue the interview over dinner...her treat.

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