by Rebecca Howard

Created on: May 16, 2008

What happens when someone you know love and trust leaves you? What do you do? Do you just give up them? Do you move on? Or do you mourn and feel sorry for yourself? When a loved one gives up on you it is so hard to live with especially when it is a parent. When I was eleven my mother left my life after I had decided that I wanted to live with my dad. Her and my dad had been divorced for nine years before this happened so I was used to changing hands. For a couple of weeks she would visit me and my brother in daycare but that was all. then one day she never came, I waited and waited for her to come through that door; face red; and telling me how sorry she was that she was late, that there was bad traffic ; but she never did. Not that day or the next day or the next week or month. She had left me, abandoned me and I was lost. I didn't know what I had done wrong to deserve

This, what I had done to push her away, or why she had betrayed me. At first I just sulked. I would get to daycare after school and just sit in a corner and I refused to talk to anyone. I would cry silently to myself all the time, I was depressed. then I just started blaming everyone around me, if my brother had been nicer, if my dad had given her what she wanted, if the people at the daycare would have let her stay a little longer, maybe just maybe she would have stayed and dried my tears for me and hug me telling me that everything was OK .then I blamed her. every night I prayed that something horrific would happen to her to make her sorry that she left me, to make her come back. I would curse her name everyday and I ripped up all of the pictures of her. I became bitter and cold. No one wanted to be around me, I was a nobody, and I was empty inside. I was lost. The person who helped me find myself was my dad. He stood by my side and never left me. He dried my tears and hugged me telling me that everything would turn out. He taught me that everyone experienced loss and we all had to be strong, and that sometimes someone would lose themselves. He said I was lucky that I still had someone to help me and care for me, and he was right. I was lucky to have him. I was lucky to have someone to recognize my pain and help pull me out of the deep dark hole that had been dug for me. I was lucky to have someone to help me cope with such a loss. i do not know what i would have done without him. i was lucky to have such a wonderful person father and friend.

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