by Meghan Rizzo

Created on: May 15, 2008

I have seen fifteen year old girls, eight months pregnant, get bumped and jostled in the crowded hallways. I was the one adult in whom a teen felt she could confide that she had contracted an STD and didn't know where to turn for medical attention. I have overheard whispered conversations about a girl who was raped on a school trip and how she didn't press charges since she "deserved it because of how she was dressed." As a high school teacher, I can say with complete authority that teenagers have sex, regardless of whether they are emotionally ready to do so. This is the reality. Ignorance about sex is dangerous and to implement an abstinence only program in any school would be doing a grave disservice to its students.

Sex education is lacking in my own school district. As far as I am aware there is no program at all, no class teaching abstinence or otherwise. I believe that it is because of this that I have heard from the mouths of the students themselves some disturbing misconceptions. I have had to correct them in the idea that two condoms are better than one, for example, or that oral sex is safe sex. I have heard students say that it is impossible for a girl to get pregnant when she is menstruating. Many of them also adhere to the ever ubiquitous teenage belief that, "You can't get pregnant if it's your first time." Even more disturbing is the pervasive ignorance among the students an ignorance of the kind that leads to intolerance and hatred. There is a disconcerting air of misogyny and homophobia among these kids and it worries me. Many of the boys do not respect the girls and the girls do not respect themselves. Meanwhile, the word "faggot" seems to be everyone's favorite insult.

For their physical health and emotional well being, these kids need sex education. They need to be placed in a non-threatening environment where they can hear the facts without feeling that they are being judged for their behavior, whether they are sexually active or not. They need to be able to ask the questions that they are afraid to ask their parents the questions that they would rather ask their friends resulting in their being grossly misinformed. They need to be provided with literature and other venues of knowledge so that they have the resources to make informed decisions. They need to know how to take care of themselves and of each other.

It is natural and understandable for adults to be uncomfortable with the fact that kids are having sex. Childhood is sacred and when we care about a kid, we want to keep him or her innocent for as long as possible. However, girls are having their first periods as young as seven years old, so they are reaching sexually maturity, physically, at younger ages. Also, kids are constantly bombarded with images of sex on T.V., in movies, and in magazines, so it is impossible to shelter our children from the facts of life. As adults, our job is to protect our youth, not stick our heads in the sand and pretend that they haven't been exposed to the subject matter we wish we could keep to ourselves. Therefore, it is imperative that we educate kids completely and honestly, without avoiding those things that make us uncomfortable. Certainly, abstinence should be encouraged. Kids need to know that it is the only way to be one hundred percent safe from unwanted pregnancies or STDs and therefore is the best choice. But it is of utmost importance that those teens who have already made the decision to become sexually active be informed that there are other choices as well.

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