by Judy Zabriskie

Created on: May 15, 2008   Last Updated: April 23, 2010

By definition a scar is that which remains after the healing process has taken place after an injury. Vague, I know, but nonetheless true. Scars can be as visible as that fibrous tissue which remains after being injured through a cut or that which remains invisible but lodged deep within the psyche, both types lasting forever ; both being difficult to live with and both having to be resolved in some way or another. For me, the scarring has been both visible and non-visible, which I am sure it has been for others.  I have to admit though that I can live quite well with the outwardly appearing scars (that leftover from childhood falls, a hysterectomy, and forceps delivery as an infant) but the scars which remain on the inside, well that is quite a different story.

I thought after several years of therapy, a successful career, family, wonderful child who turned into a productive, intelligent, contributing adult that these scars would fade away into the inner depths of my psyche – No quite the contrary.  The more I age, the more these scars come to the surface and the more hurtful they become.  I was never part of any “crowd” in school, always the outsider but I managed to muddle through with life for me being always getting to the next level and hoping to achieve some type of happiness and peace.  I married a wonderful man, finished undergraduate and graduate schools, attaining a job I liked with people who finally befriended me and I actually felt a part of a group for the first time in my life.  I then had a child and managed, with the help of my husband, to raise this boy to near perfection and he is well on his way to becoming a huge success in his field and socially (unlike his mother.)  Then came Facebook! At the urging of friends I reluctantly joined as a member, adding a select group of friends and was happy there for a long while until one day one of my friends began to look up her high school friends and befriend them. Because of the nature of Facebook  your friends can see all the action on your account as well as their own.  I became a bit jealous and began to see if there was anyone from my high school on the site. Well lo and behold, several people I went to school with, some of whom I was somewhat  friendly with from time to time, were indeed active members of the site.  My name on the site is my first, maiden and then married name. Did any one of these people seek me out –

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