by Gayle Parks

Created on: May 15, 2008

I wonder how many hours have been wasted thinking about what might have been? Collectively, I mean, across the entire world. I know I certainly have wasted vast amounts of time dong just that; thinking about what might have been. Thinking about the choices I made or the choices made by others that affected me in an adverse way. Going around and around with the what ifs and the if onlys like some squeaking Merry-Go-Round. All I ever got out of it was dizzy. All that backward wondering and worrying certainly did not make the slightest change one way or the other in my present circumstances. It left tired and drained and less able to cope with what was in front of me at the moment.

Most of us have plenty of fuel to feed our If Only Engines. If only my father had not been an alcoholic. What if my mother had not had a stroke. What if my former husband had not been such a jerk. What if I had gone to college right out of high school instead of marrying my former husband the jerk. Man, my life would have been so much easier. I would have had more money, more time, more love and more fun! Not to mention less stress, less worry and less anger. Well, maybe, or maybe not. One thing is for sure though: We can not change one single second of the past and wishing we could only wastes precious time and energy.

I believe that if we really thought about it , we would realize that we have no way of knowing what might have been. We are born into this world because of choices other people made. Then we live a number of years under the control of these people. But, finally, we are able to make our own choices and this is where things get complicated. We can live the rest of our lives looking backward and blaming. Pointing fingers at those in our past who have wronged us in some way. We can cry and bemoan our circumstances. Or, we can fix our eyes on the horizon and refuse to be pulled backward by the what ifs in our lives. We do have a choice and we are free to make it. We had no say in our beginnings but we do have a say in the future.

From this moment on we can make the choice to only move forward and strive to keep our eyes on the future. Or, we can cry and place blame. We can point fingers. And we can waste precious time wondering and worrying about what could have been. Forever going around and around on a squeaking Merry-Go-Round. Getting nowhere and feeling dizzy.

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