Before I start, let me say that this is a particularly heavy hitting topic for me. I am a proud lesbian woman, who throughout her life, has been the victim of a domestic violence relationship. I am also currently working as an advocate against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault.

This topic holds many facets that are not only devastating because of emotional turmoil caused to victims, but also because of the lack of understanding on the parts of those who deal with it. It is no secret that most people think of domestic violence and associate it with physical violence. It's easy to do, physical violence is the easiest to recognize.

There is, however, a great deal more that encompasses domestic violence than the mere physicality of it. In fact, the emotional, mental and financial strains that are put on a person in a DV relationship are often more severe, and therefore, more difficult to overcome.

There are a vast number of myths surrounding domestic violence. Most people think that it simply occurs in heterosexual relationships. Some feel that it only occurs in low income households. Others feel that dating violence is not a factor. The truth of the matter is that domestic violence spans all facets of relationships: dating, marriage, low income, high income, heterosexual, homosexual, race, and ethnicity, and more importantly, gender. We only perpetuate that stereotype by being uneducated ourselves.

The prevalence of domestic violence among Gay and Lesbian couples is between 25-33%. That That means that each year, between 50,000 and 100,000 Lesbian women and as many as 500,000 gay men are battered. There is a prevailing myth that among homosexual couples, "battering" is mutual. This myth is particularly disheartening, as most battered homosexuals fight back to defend themselves. If they fight back, at all.

The stigma of domestic violence is not an easy one to overcome. There are a multitude of reasons why people don't come forward. Fear of social stigmatization, fear of being alone, economic fear, fear of persecution, loss of family, someone not believing them, love, believing the role that they have been put into are merely a few of the reasons. Couple those with the pressure of being homosexual in a country where we aren't exactly protected, and the fear of raising the flag is ever greater.

Most homosexuals I come into contact with will not openly tell me that their abuser is someone of the same sex. They are afraid to speak openly to someone who is there to help them, for fear of persecution. This may not simply be a societal fear, as most times, the abuser has planted that thought in their head's, as well.

Most Domestic Violence laws do not specifically include or exclude protection for gays and lesbians. The fear of having the law shrug you off is a very real one. Prejudice is still very much alive in this country, couple that with the fear of your situation, fear of being outed to work, family and your community, and it's enough to make anyone think twice about taking those first steps.

No one is more deserving of help than anyone else. Each of us feel the sting of this crime. The truth, however, is clear: gays and lesbians are victims of domestic violence in as much severity as heterosexuals. Laws are historically not on the side of homosexuality, but help is not exclusive.

And you can take part in the solution. If you or someone you know is being abused, heterosexual or homosexual, please let down your fears and seek help. There are organizations that will not look at you in disgust, but welcome you with open arms to try to provide safety and stability in a situation that provides neither.

Learn more about this author, tasha03c.
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