by Kiki Mcdonald

Created on: May 15, 2008

I am always amazed when people say that if they had it all to do over again, they wouldn't change a thing. Really? Nothing? Not one single thing? I, myself, have countless things I would do differently if given a second chance, not the least of which would involve wearing more sunscreen.

Had I known at twenty what my body would be like at forty, I would have worn a bikini every single solitary day of my life up until my mid-thirties. Everyday. Everywhere. Regardless of the weather or event.

My pregnancy at age thirty- five ended the exquisite gift of a flat, taut stomach, which up until that time, I had vastly unappreciated. In fact, the ten month span of my pregnancy is the only time since the age of thirty-five that I did not suck my stomach in when out in public. And yes, it is ten months, not nine.

I do it all the time now, suck my stomach in. I don't even think about it. It is a reflex action, much like blinking or breathing or cursing while driving. Somewhere beneath my shirt lies a six-pack of abs, created simply from the constant act of sucking my stomach inward. Only there is a slight protective layer over those abs, one that has more folds than an origami swan when I bend down to get something that has dropped to the floor.

I would bare my breasts in public before I would bare my stomach. Seriously. One time in line at the grocery store, my son was absentmindedly fondling the hem of my shirt while he waxed on and on about some detail of his day. And then, without thinking, he lifted the bottom of my shirt. He exposed my stomach, in public. My instinctual reaction was to swat him on the back of the head. I am not proud of it, but as I said, it was instinctual.

My rear, on the other hand, seems to get smaller as I age. Perhaps because it is making a slow decent down the back of my thighs, much like Beck Weathers on his way to base camp after reaching the summit of Mt. Everest. At least people were glad to see him when he reached his final destination.

Though vision tends to blur as we age, the one thing that becomes crystal clear is how little we appreciated our physical attributes while we had them. The sinewy limbs, the dewy skin, the thick glossy hair. Small things, like the ability to sneeze without pulling your back out. Not being called ma'am at a restaurant. And, being able to wear a bikini without giving it a second thought.

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