by David Mckellar

Created on: May 15, 2008

WC Fields once said "I have proper respect for old age. Especially if it is
in a bottle." Another great quote is from another great comedian Henry
Youngman "My grandmother was 98 and never used glasses. She drank
straight out of the bottle." And British comedian Bob Monkhouse once
said: "Whisky really does improve with age. The older I get it the more I
like it." Three great jokes about old age. But believe me it's no joke

growing old.

But you have to laugh. You know when you are getting old when you pick up
the newspaper and the first thing you do is read the obituary column. If
your name isn't there you get out of bed. You know when you are getting
old when everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
You know you are getting old when a twenty year old girl walks by and you
wonder what her mother looks like.

But the most frustrating and annoying thing about growing old is absent mindedness. Do you remember the song "Thanks for the memory" I forgot who sung it. But I know it was some American comedian's signature tune. However, I can remember that my own memory isn't what it used to be. When you get older three things happen to you. First your memory starts to go, and I can't remember the other two. I can't remember when I started becoming absent minded. Yes, thanks for the memory where ever you've gone.

Do you know I have great difficulty remembering my own name. Then
somebody gave me a wonderful tip; always carry a letter you have
received because it has your name on the envelope. That's how I
remember my name "The Occupier".

However, the most annoying piece of forgetfulness is when you cannot find your car keys. You find them. Then you have to try and remember where you parked the car. Then you find it. Get in. Start the engine and then sit there for ten minutes trying to remember where you wanted to go.

Forgetfulness can get you into trouble that's why I do sudoku and
crosswords every day to keep my mind active. But crosswords caused an
embarrassing moment the other day. I couldn't do three down what is the
capital of France'? I couldn't remember the name. Silly isn't it? I have
been there many times but I just could not recall the name. I mean,
it wasn't if I didn't have a clue, I did, it was the crossword clue "What is
the capital of France?" and what makes it very frustrating is that I knew
that I knew the answer.

An hour later I am downtown and I hail a taxi. The taxi pulls up and as I am about to get into the back I yell out "Paris!" I had remembered the capital of

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