by J.R. Lewis

Created on: May 15, 2008

I sit down and stare at my computer. It stares back and we're both blank.

I pull Word Perfect and hope that brilliance flows from my pecking fingers. On occasion, I am lucky. Ideas are captured in that perfect fleeting moment exactly how I hoped.

Other days...

Well... Let's just stare it is more of a staring contest than a productive endeavor!

On days where my mind refuses to cooperate, there is a litany of random excuses I tell myself to make me feel better and to rationalize the wasted time.

My internal dialogue goes something like this...

...What do you expect? You were up so late last night. You didn't even bother to clean the dishes. It's because you didn't do that, you know Go do the dishes THEN you can think! Who can think with a messy kitchen anyhow?

...It was the kids. They wanted to eat and stuff. You HAD to feed them. No nevermind that they are almost grown or are perfectly capable of feeding themselves! You couldn't just let them starve! What kind of mother would you be if you indulged yourself and put off your hungry, lazy children?

...It was too early/too late. You weren't really awake. Its bad enough you don't have a schedule, compound that with the fact you were running on empty, no one could expect you'd be able to function on a higher level. You grunt and gesture when you want your Coke filled, what made you think you'd be able to form complete sentences?

...The cats were being loud. They were fussy and demanded attention. You live on that computer, the very least you could do was give a little attention to those sweet animals who depend on you completely. What other time can they catch you sitting down? Plus, to them, you don't look busy at all.

...The television was far too loud. It was so loud, when you got up to turn it down; you were drawn into the plotline. It doesn't matter that it was Judge Judy! She has a plot line. Plus, it's character research! You NEED quirky characters. You might have gained an idea or two too!

...It was pretty outside. When you went to get the mail, the porch just called you. You needed to get some fresh air. Spring is coming, winter is fading out. Being cooped up all day leads you away from productivity. How can you focus with Spring Fever?

...It was ugly outside. The rain just dampens you. Makes you depressed. On such gray days, it is hard to focus on anything. Just wait until it passes, it shouldn't take long.

...It was too hot/cold in the house. The kids must have been playing with the thermostat again! How do you expect

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