My mind raced as I stared at the blank page in front of me. I raised my hand, "Mr. Pontoon, I'm feeling sick. Can I go to the nurse?

"No," he replied abruptly.

"Darn!" I thought, "I just wasted 15 seconds with that ploy, and still my paper is blank. I know- maybe I'll pee my pants. That'll get me out of this timed essay writing assignment." I leaned back, grunted and let her rip. I waited for a puddle to collect underneath my chair and raised my hand again, "Excuse me, Mr. Pontoon, I just urinated."

"Well, finish your writing, and I'll let you go change," he countered without flinching. He was obviously used to these tactics. Two more minutes had passed. The page was still blank. My thighs were chaffing. I smelled like urine. Luckily, I remembered the gun I brought with me to school that day. That would get me out of this assignment-

Beep! Beep! Beep! I woke up sweating, covered in soiled sheets. It was just a dream, but I knew right then I better find a way to get comfortable with timed essays or my life would be ruined. During lunch that day, I strolled nervously down to room 232 and sought advice from the guru of timed essays himself, Mr. Maven.

He began with a philosophical bit about how the skills for successfully writing timed essays coincided with the same skills needed to be successful in life. "Time management is essential!" he pleaded, "the great ones, the achievers, the pioneers all know how to manage their time!"

"What do you mean, Mr. Maven?"

"They have a plan and they follow it. They don't just go haphazardly about their work. What's your plan when writing a timed essay?" I think my dumbfounded look showed I had no idea what he was talking about. He continued, "Look here Sonny, if you don't have a plan, you're going to feel stressed, and the more stressed you feel, the more time you waste, the more time you waste, the more stressed you feel, the more stressed you feel the more-"

"OK, I get the point. Can you help me develop a plan?"

"First, read the question carefully. Determine what type of essay you need to write. Most often, timed tests are asking for a persuasive essay or a narrative essay. Sometimes you will be asked to explain a process, make a comparison, or give a description."

"So I don't just start writing immediately?" I questioned, feeling uneasy about the thought of wasting precious writing time.

Maven interrupted my thoughts, "Make sure you allot a certain amount

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