by Tina Field Howe

Created on: May 14, 2008

from "Alysa of the Fields, Book One in the Tellings of Xunar-kun".

Countless times Alysa's mind reworked the confrontation with Kendira. Each time she felt more frustrated. She always tried to live according to the Laws handed down by Father Gord'n. Why, all of a sudden, did the Laws seem contrary to what she needed for happiness? The Laws ensured the survival and prosperity of the clan. Why, the closer she was to becoming an adult, did she feel less able to accept what was expected of her?

Over and over these questions reeled through her brain. One tenet Teller Kendira had taught with painstaking care over the cycles came to Alysa's mind: Let the needs of many overshadow the desires of a single one.

Alysa replayed the phrase over and over in her thoughts. She found it made no sense. What were needs? What were desires? Was a need more important than a desire, or were they really the same thing? If dire circumstances were to affect everybody, only then would the same need - the need to survive - exist for all. But if one was alone in their need - or their desire - must it be ignored? No.

Every person's needs were important and should be fulfilled. Each should be able to live life as chosen. Alysa desired - no, needed - to choose how she wanted to live!

Her father's gentle face rose to mind. It seemed as if she saw him at the corner of her vision. Then she thought she heard a whisper which spoke but one word: "Individual." She startled and looked around; but there was no one else about.

She shivered, recalling that her father had used that word, "individual." She also recalled hearing him state a few times that he considered himself to be one. But he never explained to her how he became an individual. Even though Abso saw himself as one, he obeyed the Laws as far as she knew, and he was very much respected throughout the clan. She thought, How did he do it? How was he able to be an individual AND live his life in a way that was accepted by the clan?

She had never spent so much time thinking in all her life! This was the first time she deeply questioned the Laws and the Teller's way of teaching - or quite possibly, manipulating. Nothing Kendira ever told demanded thought by her listeners. The legends were meant to be absorbed and never questioned; the traditions were supposed to be remembered - and lived by. She never heard Kendira utter the word "individual" in any of her Tellings.

Some of the traditions are necessary, Alysa thought. But others truly need to be changed! It seemed that again she saw her father's face at the edge of her vision.

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