by L Hurley

Created on: May 14, 2008   Last Updated: March 12, 2010

When people come together it is inevitable that differences will arise. When the differences involve important issues for the individuals they can create conflict. The objective of conflict management is to resolve the conflict while balancing the needs of each party. When this is done well it is possible for the parties to have a better relationship than before the conflict arose.

Different people deal with conflict in different ways. Some people will choose to avoid the conflict, but it is not an ideal choice as it leaves the conflict unsettled and can lead to alienation, apathy or absenteeism on the part of the avoider.

A variation of avoiding the conflict is to accommodate the other party. One party chooses to give in to the wishes of the other which resolves the immediate conflict but sets up a win lose situation. Often the loser carries a buried resentment which will resurface later and create further conflict.

Some conflicting parties will choose to compete until a winner and loser are determined. If the balance of power is relatively equal the conflict can be drawn out and tedious, disrupting the workplace and tiring everyone in the process. The fact that there is a winner and a loser is not conducive to effective long term relationships.

Compromise is a popular conflict management technique. The strategy aims to gain agreement and resolve the conflict through give and take on both sides. Compromise is effective when dealing with long term relationships but its success depends on both parties feeling the outcome is fair.

By far the best conflict management strategy is that of collaboration where the conflict is treated as something to be overcome together. It requires significant levels of trust and creativity to be successful but the outcome sees both parties achieving something larger than a simple resolution and sets a solid foundation for the relationship going forward.

To use compromise or collaboration to resolve conflict requires rational discussion. Unfortunately conflict is rife with emotion and until the emotional aspects are dealt with progress on resolution cannot occur. A useful approach to diffusing the emotion involved in conflict is to set a few simple rules:

1. Treat the other person with respect. Often when we are angry we will lose sight of the issue and attack the person instead. Insults only serve to escalate the emotional content of the conflict and should be avoided at all costs.

2. Listen to the other person's point of view until

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