by Juniper Shea

Created on: May 13, 2008

How do we know when our children have stepped across the boundary line and have taken control over us? How do we redirect their energy into positive energy rather then misbehaving energy? Plenty of parents, whether it's their first time or not, come into these issues with parenting their children. How do we stop this viscous cycle?

There are many incidents that probably have occurred in the past which have lead to this behavior. When a child begins to control you, they have once before in the past witnessed themselves getting what they want due to their bad behavior. In that moment they decided they would be able to get what they wanted if they acted that particular way.

Many parents don't realize they are being controlled. Most feel they aren't even spoiling their child. The bad news is you are spoiling your children and even worse, showing them negative actions gets them what they want. The good news is this behavior can be nipped in the butt before it gets out of control.

In many cases when the child discovers they are able to control you by simply having outbursts or fits, they will continue to act according to what they have learned. If by screaming, they get exactly what they want right away, every time they are disciplined and told no they will show this sign of behavior, by having another outburst.

So how can we control their behavior and attitude, instead of my children controlling me? The first step is to stop showing them they will get what they want with bad behavior. If you say no to candy or toys, stick to your guns. Remember you are the boss and you make the rules. If we continue to go back on our words, this will prove to them we are capable of retracting any choice we have made where we say no.

Continue showing them that only with positive, good behavior they will get that piece of candy or toy. The child will soon grow respect towards you and will follow your choices with out having outbursts. True, their change in behavior will take a while, though if you stick to your word then it will be worth it in the end. The trick to copping with their outbursts is trying to ignore them at all costs.

Ignoring them while they continue to throw huge fits, will get results much quicker. It's important to ignore their bad behavior as much as you can because it will show them that not only will they not get what they want but you will not pay any attention to their fits. It's a double positive reaction for you because they will learn much quicker. What if we are in public?

Disciplining your child in public doesn't make you a bad person although many people have their own opinions on how to parent children. The important thing to remember is again you are the boss. These people in public are not the person who takes care of your child and caring what they think is really unimportant. When they begin to throw a huge fit in public, just try to stick to your guns. If the embarrassment is far to much to handle, taking your child out of the environment is another choice. Taking them out of the environment will slow down the process of teaching your child and should be avoided.

Parenting is a special gift that can drive you crazy. Every second we have our eyes on them, and they look to us to guide them. It's with strong discipline and sticking to your guns that you can earn their respect. This may be hard to adjust to this, but it will be worth it in the long run.

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