by Tamara Raetz

Created on: May 13, 2008

It's hard in any age for a writer to be original. "Happy ever after" is the longest-running and most-used plot in the human story, appearing in any story-telling medium from ancient fairy tales to many a television series. Man seeks woman, prince seeks princess, king seeks queen.

Royalty commands attention. To women, at least, there is no story more compelling than a prince seeking a bride; media empires have been founded on it, and continue to enrich themselves selling real and fictional royal weddings to commoners. Even anti-royalists pay it heed, as the object of their resistance. Whether applauded or scorned, royalty is not in danger of being ignored to death.

Therein lies our fascination with the doings of royals. Those born into the royal class live the life of a goldfish, exchanging privacy for privilege and learning hard lessons about trust. History is rank with the tales of princes and princesses who struggle to escape the aquarium, but find themselves always returned to their prison of glass walls. They either accept their habitat, submitted to duty or addiction, or knock themselves silly against the walls, but there is no life outside the goldfish bowl for a royal. More indelible than a tattoo, royalty cannot be erased or removed so long as history books and the media empires continue.

Those who marry into the royal class have the privilege of choosing their prison. Royal marriage is a dive into the goldfish bowl, to keep the other fish company and provide the commoners with entertainment. We have an insatiable appetite for princesses particularly, and expect a good show of pageantry, gems, and fine clothes. We want the bride. Princess candidates are examined minutely and judged on their taste and beauty, their fidelity, and their graciousness to the press. When a prince chooses his bride, the wedding contract of his princess includes an unwritten clause that transfers all rights to the public.

Why are we so compelled by these stories? The stories of kings and queens, princes and princesses are guaranteed sellers, from fairytales to animated films, and tabloids to documentaries. Even our faux-princesses of popular culture can sell more magazines in a week than our most powerful political and financial leaders could sell in a year. Mere power can scarcely retain our attention, unless the power is being used for evil. Judging by common cultural references, the subject of Adolf Hitler is as compelling as Princess Diana. So evil must be part of the story,

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