by K.D.

Created on: May 13, 2008

Whether the decision is one-sided or mutual, the process of breaking up is hardly ever an easy pill to swallow. When commitments are broken, hearts are sure to follow suita malady that has been plaguing our society far too often these days.

Human beings are naturally social creatures with an innate desire to interact with one another and form meaningful bonds that provide a much-needed sense of belonging. This was no secret to American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, who included love and intimacy as a basic human need in his infamous hierarchy of human needs.

The real tragedy with break ups is that they rob us of the precious intimacy we have grown to depend on. Intimacy is often replaced with an agonizing void that threatens to cripple our emotional futures if not handled with care. The loss of intimacy can either make or break you and only you can decide which of these two categories you will fall under. Though there are plenty of bumps along both roads, choosing the former will surely lead you to greener pastures.

Some of the nagging questions that torment the hearts and minds of those who have been burned by love tend to include things like, "Why me?" "Where do I go from here?" "When will the pain subside?" "Will I ever be happy again?"

Though there are no set answers to these difficult questions, I would like to offer my take on each as follows:

Because you have reached a crossroads in the blueprint of your life path. The road you traveled on up to this point has come to an end and you must now trust your inner compass to guide you in the right direction. As tempting as it may be to indulge in a perpetual pity party, consider embracing the opportunity for personal growth instead.

Forward. This is not a race and there is no need for giant leaps. Take baby steps if you need to, for as long as you need to. The important thing is to just keep moving forward.

Though the timeline varies for everyone, typically the pain begins to subside once the heart finally comes to accept what the head has been saying all along. Emotional pain tends to be deeply rooted in denial, which can easily cloud our inner vision. You will never see the light at the end of the tunnel until you start looking through the new set of eyes that fate has generously provided for you.

Yes, but only if you allow yourself the privilege. Happiness comes in all sorts of packages, the most colorful of which always comes from within. There is a hidden treasure buried in us all even if it sometimes takes an awful lot of digging to uncover. What are you waiting for? The golden shovel is in your hands!

For more information about how to cope with a break up or divorce, please visit my website at www.BreakingUpWithoutBreakingDown.com

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