by Julian Salisbury

Created on: May 13, 2008   Last Updated: May 16, 2008

Perhaps the question should solicit answers about the stay-at-home parent, not the stay at home parents. The notion of stay-at-home parents suggests that a family is either so fortunate that they don't have to seek paid employment, or that one or both telecommute, or that they rely on welfare benefits. As none of these scenarios apply to the majority of interested readers, this contribution will deal with the emotive issue of whether a parent should care, socialise and nurture their child at home whilst the other parent goes out to work, or whether this role might be delegated to others.

Pariah status or guilt trip?

Those who use day-care or child-minders are easy targets for criticism. Some might view them as lacking maternal or paternal instincts. This is especially true for females who are expected to fulfil the expressive role of primary carer and nurturer for their children. When they pass on some of this responsibility to others they break the gender contract and invoke the wrath of those who support a traditional interpretation of the ideology of motherhood. Somehow, they are just not behaving naturally or normally; they are damaging their children and by doing so and they are storing up trouble for society later on.

Economic necessity

Two parent families are increasingly finding it difficult to maintain even a modest standard of living without both parties being economically active. On May 13th 2008, Sky News reported that the number of stay-at-home-parents in Britain had dropped to its lowest level for 15 years. Yet this was viewed as a universally bad thing by those surveyed. The recent economic downturn has made things even more difficult for those who seek to raise their children at home. Although Party political in nature, statistics published by the Conservative Party claim that since Tony Blair's departure, the cost of butter has risen by 37%, bread 28%, flour 22%, milk 17%, potatoes 11% and gas and fuel by 10% (www.creweandnantwichconservatives.com). As the average annual wage rise has been 2.5%, one can appreciate the economic pressures on both parents to work even if they don't think that that decision would be in the best interests of their children.

Why are so many parents so averse to leaving their children in pre-school nurseries?

The standard of care available is inconsistent at best and can be socially or physically damaging is the worst cases. Writing in the Times online, Minette Marinn opined that recent Office for Standards in Education

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